Hump Day...

All of my posts lately have been depressing and sad as have many other blogs I read. I think we are all cracking under the tremendous pressure put on us by college and life. Let me cry some more.

I am incredibly lonely. Being even this far away for five days is so hard. I pray for Friday to come faster each week so I can see him again.

Little recap perhaps?

Last weekend was crazy! After a initial flop of a party over at my dorm room, I quickly decided I needed to get home. I rushed my packing AGAIN meaning I left very many important things and I ran outside. I got lucky and got on the #38 bus which takes me right past Union and Ogelvie stations. However, as we turned onto Canal street, I saw that traffic was not moving in any direction. Seeing as I needed to be home ASAP I made a quick decision and decided to take Union out of the city. Again, I got lucky and jumped on a train. But as I pulled out my Sierra Mist to quench my thirst my luck ended and it exploded all over me.

After the long ride there and a few delays, I was in Aurora and very cold. I eventually met up with everyone and we had a very fun time out to eat. It was Bernadette Peter's birthday...don't ask.

The next day was clubbing...again. I wasn't totally looking forward to it but I thought it would still be fun since a lot more people were coming. And it was. I raped Merika, Ian, Zachary, Cristin, Cassie, Nicole and Aimee. I got my boy home 15 minutes late but I was going as fast as I could! 70 mph down Route 25 is scary!

Sunday was a bigger day than I expected. I met his family, though not his parents. I had picked him up from work and he mentioned he wanted to stop home real quick and then as if on sudden impulse, he took me inside with him. I was so nervous and had no idea what to expect. His younger brother looks exactly like him, just shorter and fatter. His older brother was very nice, as was everyone else. I really liked his family a lot and had a lot of fun. They also stuffed me with food, something I cannot turn down! Now I need to meet his mom, though I am very worried and anxious about that one.

Alright enough recap cause I am bored. Now it is Wednesday and I feel like my life is picking itself up again, however slowly. I feel more organized, on top of things and perhaps my social life is recovering, though I was on the phone yesterday for over 2.5 hours yesterday...My parents are going to kill me when they see the phone bill next month!

Now I need to go do my laundry (which I swear I haven't done in at least a month) and some homework (my professor finds it fun to give me hundreds of pages of reading). And as always, I need to make a certain phone call later. He isn't awake now so I have some time to do stuff before I go "caking." I crack myself up too much for my own good.

Its All A Blur

Two weeks go by and I don't post. Two weeks of non-stop action. Even now, I should be doing something constructive, like homework. But instead I have chosen to sit here and blog about my life thus-far. Not detailed descriptions of every thing I do *coughzacharycough* I don't do that cause I can't remember everything. :(

So lets see. Where do I begin? Well for starters I feel like I am going insane these days. It is hard to have a social life and try to do well in school at the same, even more so with the classes I am taking now. Philosophy is starting to pick up, English is too much work that I do not care about, I am scared of my History and Greek classes and I haven't been to my Anthropology class in a very long time. I am four chapters behind!! Do I have a social life? It is slowly dying. I spend most of my time either trying to catch up on my work, or vegging out because I am too stressed. The only thing that keeps me sane anymore is my boy.

Example: my day today! Started out with me waking up way too late and almost missing the train back to Chicago. Why I was home is explained later. But however I did make the train after running in front of it! The ride was crowded, stuffy and this old guy next to me kept singing to his iPod. The one good thing however was that the conductor did not see me and I ended up not having to pay anything. Upon getting to Chicago and taking a pink line back, I have to get ready for school very quickly, since class started at 9 and I am far away from campus. Go to class, everything is normal. Go to another class, very very hot and boring but I survive. But then I realized I had to write a paper due by my next class. I had some time so I ate and went at it. It was rushed, crappy and I didn't print out enough copies, but it was done. I then went with Ian, Mike and Kevin to watch a movie, Ran, for our term paper in English. It was a very good and interesting movie but I wasn't feeling well and was very tired. I left after about an hour and half, still having another good hour to go! Coming back, I almost got on the bus until I saw someone I did not want to face. We will leave the name here blank for now. So I decided not to go on the bus and went to the el. However the blue line was 30 minutes late. Four other trains passed by on the other side of the tracks, but not the one I need. And it was very VERY cold. By the time I finally got back to my dorm, I was cold, exhausted and grumpy. I vegged out, did some homework and vegged out some more. So there you go. My bitchy rant. God I feel good!

So why was I home yesterday, during a school day? My boy of course! It is our second meeting anniversary. I find it cute! Friday is our real one month anniversary. It is the longest relationship I have ever had! Wait, scratch that. The only relationship I have ever had! If he does come to UIC with me, it would be heaven on earth! Heaven on freaking earth! My boy and some friends came over here to visit and I had a really amazing time!

So my social life? Yeah, it is going down the drains. I didn't want to break ties with everyone I knew from high school, though there were a few that I did want to and they just wont break... But in any case, I seem to be loosing contact with very many of my closer friends, even here at school. I try to do the whole Myspace and Facebook thing and I try to see people, but it is so hard with school and with the constant and large workload. I feel so bad. But not only that I feel so lazy and crappy cause I have no social life. What happened to my amazing senior year of high school and even my first semester of college where I was always doing something?! Everything except homework that is, cause I had none!

Oh god this post is really bitchy, whining and close to being annoying. Someone save me! =(

19?

Ever have a moment where your walking by yourself in a crowded place, completely shut out to anything and anyone around you, and then suddenly you trip, allowing everyone to notice you? Happens to me all the time. Damn that ice.

I woke up today and said, "Its my birthday. I am not going to class." Five minutes later I get up and run out the door before I missed the shuttle. That however did not work and as I saw the shuttle quickly leave, I realized this is going to be a weird day.

I did however skip my Anthropology class. Sitting in an enormous lecture hall with about 350 other students makes me feel unimportant, so I don't go. I didn't want to be bored today. This is my day! I can be a bitch.

I ended up walking around the new apartments in Greek town trying to find the entrance to look around. There was a sign that said "MODEL OPEN! COME IN!" False advertising. I was cold, tired and wet from the nasty slush of Chicago.

Ok, so I guess I'm bitching a lot. It really hasn't been that bad of a day. I guess I am just tired/exhausted. My weekend was tiring. I went back home on Friday and spent about an half hour with the boy on his lunch break. I then waited around the area until 12.45 when he got off. I got so bored I ended up singing Wicked in my car right while I froze to death. But it was all good cause I spent another half hour at Steak & Shake.

The next day was spent going to Naperville on a whim to visit Zachary. We didn't do much, but it was still enjoyable. We did take a walk around random places while attempting to be camera whores. I need to smile more...

That night we went clubbing after everyone got back from Sadies. It was fun, though not as fun as past times I have been. PDA is still an issue and it only makes things worse when we get strange/mean looks. We also believe we got hit on, but we can never really be sure. Yago was there with some of her friends as was Thomas Taber, though I never actually saw him. I was supposed to get my boy back home at 2 AM but due to the amount of good songs playing, it turned out to be 3 AM.

Even though he was grounded, I did manage a short 45 minute visit with him. We found out that we have always been around each other in life, and yet never noticed it. Very strange and eerie. Anyway, I jumped on a train at 8.37 PM only to find Ian. I attempted to read my homework, but ended up talking to Ian most of the time. It was fun and made the long ride home little less long.

And now I'm 19. I am at the end of teenage years! OH NO! Even though legally I have been an adult since 18, 20 is a big milestone. Now I am very disturbed and have to go think about this some more...

So It Begins Again...

This morning I almost did not get onto the shuttle. It was overcrowded, stuffy and smelled weird. With the new dorm open now, everything is becoming overcrowded, though there are many new people to meet. The problem is going out and meeting them.

I am happy and sad to be back. For one, I am back in Chicago, which is amazing! I wish I could live here year round!! I am also away from my parents and family. I can only take so much of them before I go crazy. But this also means a separation from my boy! I miss him so much and this is going to be hard. I've already talked to him at least five times today. :D

The first thing I noticed when entering my dorm was the strange smell that lingered everywhere. I can't put my finger on it. Miles had a similar problem in Savannah according to his blog. Other than that and a little makeover to the toilet paper dispensers in the bathrooms, everything is exactly the same. It feels so weird, as if I had never actually left. It is a very eerie feeling.

I had two classes today, Greek 102 and Philosophy 102. Philosophy seems like a more difficult class, but I sit next to Mike Henning, a philosophy major himself. He will help me. My Greek class is hard as usual, but that it is almost two hours long makes me want to scream. Two hours of nothing but Greek is too much for my little brain!

My text book total came to a little more than $300. I about passed out. I am broke once again. On the flipside, I have about $830 in flex dollars to use for food and random stuff!

Tomorrow comes Anthropology 101, English 161 and History 223. I can only hope this semester goes fast...very fast.

The Holy Homo?

The title? I do not consider myself holy in any sense, I just thought it rolls off the tongue. Oh, you didn't know? The whole world does anymore so you must be pretty cut-off.

Ok, so I am gay. Labels suck but how else do I explain myself? And now that my family knows, I can finally blog about it. If I didn't know my sister read this thing and reported to my parents about my doings I may have let something slip beforehand.

First Stage - I've known who I am for a very long time, but I denied it. Growing up in a conservative Christian family there isn't much acceptance for such lifestyles. But one day, I was done with it and finally accepted who I was. I pretty much prayed to God everyday to make me straight, but once I realized there was no answer, I gave up. Zachary really helped me when he came out. I believed him when he told me he didn't choose this and finally I believed myself.

Second Stage - So now I'm gay and no one knows. This really was a depressing time for me. I just could not tell people who I was and no one understood some of my actions, such as not wanting to date. I wanted to, but if I did, then I would have to hide everything. One day however, after being disturbed by people in my dorm talking behind my back about the possibility of me being gay, I broke a small hole in the large wall I had built and told Mike Henning via AIM.

Third Stage - His acceptance gave me just enough courage to tell more people, and thats exactly what I did. Soon three became ten which became twenty, etc. I was very encouraged by my friend's support and acceptance. I wasn't expecting less since Zachary and Miles did pave the way for me, but it only takes a single doubt to make me anxious. Then I met him. My dream boy! For privacy reasons, I won't name him, though I don't know who doesn't know. I met him at Mission, a club in Elgin, and though he didn't believe that I was gay at first, I finally convinced him. And we hit it off. We started to date on his birthday, and I have never been happier in my life! So I did the hardest thing I have done to date. I told the family.

They love me, of course, but the thought of rejection always remained with me. They will not however accept my lifestyle. They call it a choice, I call it life. We disagree on many things, religion is the most crucial. And apparently now my whole family knows as well. I will not find much acceptance there, but why even care anymore. I am who I am, not to quote God. Thanksgiving is going to be very awkward...

So this is my huge life-changing subject of the month. But every one of my worries disappear when I am with my boy! And I really am going to hate having to leave him for school. Expect me home at least every weekend!

In Heaven

I met the most important person of my life the other day and I couldn't be happier.

Me?!

This is a longer post. Watch out

TIME Magazine's Person of the Year - You

"The "Great Man" theory of history is usually attributed to the Scottish philosopher Thomas Carlyle, who wrote that "the history of the world is but the biography of great men." He believed that it is the few, the powerful and the famous who shape our collective destiny as a species. That theory took a serious beating this year.

To be sure, there are individuals we could blame for the many painful and disturbing things that happened in 2006. The conflict in Iraq only got bloodier and more entrenched. A vicious skirmish erupted between Israel and Lebanon. A war dragged on in Sudan. A tin-pot dictator in North Korea got the Bomb, and the President of Iran wants to go nuclear too. Meanwhile nobody fixed global warming, and Sony didn't make enough PlayStation3s.

But look at 2006 through a different lens and you'll see another story, one that isn't about conflict or great men. It's a story about community and collaboration on a scale never seen before. It's about the cosmic compendium of knowledge Wikipedia and the million-channel people's network YouTube and the online metropolis MySpace. It's about the many wresting power from the few and helping one another for nothing and how that will not only change the world, but also change the way the world changes.

The tool that makes this possible is the World Wide Web. Not the Web that Tim Berners-Lee hacked together (15 years ago, according to Wikipedia) as a way for scientists to share research. It's not even the overhyped dotcom Web of the late 1990s. The new Web is a very different thing. It's a tool for bringing together the small contributions of millions of people and making them matter. Silicon Valley consultants call it Web 2.0, as if it were a new version of some old software. But it's really a revolution.

And we are so ready for it. We're ready to balance our diet of predigested news with raw feeds from Baghdad and Boston and Beijing. You can learn more about how Americans live just by looking at the backgrounds of YouTube videos—those rumpled bedrooms and toy-strewn basement rec rooms—than you could from 1,000 hours of network television.

And we didn't just watch, we also worked. Like crazy. We made Facebook profiles and Second Life avatars and reviewed books at Amazon and recorded podcasts. We blogged about our candidates losing and wrote songs about getting dumped. We camcordered bombing runs and built open-source software.

America loves its solitary geniuses—its Einsteins, its Edisons, its Jobses—but those lonely dreamers may have to learn to play with others. Car companies are running open design contests. Reuters is carrying blog postings alongside its regular news feed. Microsoft is working overtime to fend off user-created Linux. We're looking at an explosion of productivity and innovation, and it's just getting started, as millions of minds that would otherwise have drowned in obscurity get backhauled into the global intellectual economy.

Who are these people? Seriously, who actually sits down after a long day at work and says, I'm not going to watch Lost tonight. I'm going to turn on my computer and make a movie starring my pet iguana? I'm going to mash up 50 Cent's vocals with Queen's instrumentals? I'm going to blog about my state of mind or the state of the nation or the steak-frites at the new bistro down the street? Who has that time and that energy and that passion?

The answer is, you do. And for seizing the reins of the global media, for founding and framing the new digital democracy, for working for nothing and beating the pros at their own game, TIME's Person of the Year for 2006 is you.

Sure, it's a mistake to romanticize all this any more than is strictly necessary. Web 2.0 harnesses the stupidity of crowds as well as its wisdom. Some of the comments on YouTube make you weep for the future of humanity just for the spelling alone, never mind the obscenity and the naked hatred.

But that's what makes all this interesting. Web 2.0 is a massive social experiment, and like any experiment worth trying, it could fail. There's no road map for how an organism that's not a bacterium lives and works together on this planet in numbers in excess of 6 billion. But 2006 gave us some ideas. This is an opportunity to build a new kind of international understanding, not politician to politician, great man to great man, but citizen to citizen, person to person. It's a chance for people to look at a computer screen and really, genuinely wonder who's out there looking back at them. Go on. Tell us you're not just a little bit curious."

That make me all warm in the heart!

You Know Who You Are...

I am afraid of who reads this thing anymore...

Who is spying on me?? Perhaps I will do what Zachary has done of late, make it private. Hm....Then I have to approve you to read it and then no worries, right? I guess it is my fault. I did put the link on my Facebook and Myspace.

I just feel like my mind is being invaded. But then again, that is what a blog does.

There was a comment on Zachary's LiveJournal, "Keep on blogger, we read your posts." Who is that? Was it to me? To Zachary? I'm afraid.

But nonetheless I continue to allow random people to look into my crazed head.

The X in X-Mas

But first, we will backtrack a bit.

Last Tuesday Ian, Merika, Miles, Zachary and I went downtown Chicago for an All-American Rejects concert. After an initial two hour confusion about Miles working we were off. One hour later of many rounds of 20 questions, a few photo shoots and dance parties, we arrived at my wonderful school. I thought I had left it in the dust!

We took the El downtown and shopped around the Art Institute. I was looking for an umbrella for Gabby and her request, but alas, it was not there. Oh well. She's a big girl!

We went up to the north pretty early. I knew the ride would take long and just wanted to get up there. I had never been that far north before, and still we were in the city. It reminds me of how much more I need to explore!

The neighborhood wasn't the best looking in the world, but we found a small and cheap pizza place. I felt like I was grinding people to get my food. It was very good and we got more emo myspace pictures out of it.

Once we got into the Aragon Ballroom, a strangely (and cheap looking) Spanish themed venue, the show began. There were three bands in front of AAR and it was getting tiresome to wait, though The Format was pretty good and I really like Motion City Soundtrack. Boys Like Girls I can forget about. When AAR did come on, I went down to the mosh pit for awhile. It was a lot of fun down there, but I got claustrophobic and felt like I needed to get out. I finished the concert upstairs with Miles and Zachary. The lead singer was either drunk, on drugs or just very VERY eccentric/weird. He threw a blow-up sex doll into the crowd to be dressed by people. Bras were flying through the air.

After the concert we went on a little city 'sploring and headed home.

Now between then and now has been basically constant work. It has been very tiresome but when I get that paycheck it should be very rewarding.

Last night, Christmas Eve, I was one of the "lucky" who had to close. Times like that make me wish I don't work at Target. We got out at 7 and I rushed over to my sister's in-law's house were we enjoyed fondue. Luckily I only missed the appetizers. It was very enjoyable though I drank too many glasses of wine and was slightly tipsy for awhile before I basically fell asleep on the couch.

Today I woke up around 6 AM due to some serious stomach problems. Damn you fondue! However I managed to sleep again until my puppies came jumping on my bed at 8.30. We opened presents and Mark/Rachael/Baby-in-Fetus came over around 10 and we enjoyed a very tasty lunch consisting of the best steak I've ever had. And now I want more thinking about it.

Anyway the whole day was lounging around with the family. I also played some new games (Zelda >_<) and tried to figure out the new wireless "thing." I got it half way, but I just don't understand! Anyway, all in all it was a good, yet forgettable, Christmas. Tomorrow, work. Again.

Screw This Semester

I'm so excited to be finished with this semester and even more excited about next semester that I am going to waste a whole post on my schedule!

Done With:
History 100 - Western European History from Ancient - 1648 AD
Modern Greek 101 - Elementary Modern Greek (Kind of degrading since I am in college)
LAS110- Success in the City (crappy crappy crappy)
English 160 - English Composition I (connected to my Classics course)
Classics 102 - Intro to Classical Literature

Next Semester:
English 161 - English Composition II (last English class ever!)
Anthropology 101 - Intro to Social Anthro (I barely got into this class!)
Philosophy 102 - Introductory Logic (gets rid of all my math requirements. kinda scared of the class though)
Modern Greek 102 - Again the elementary title...
History 223 - History of Modern Britain

By the end of next semester I will have exactly 30 credit hours making me a sophomore! YAY!

One More Day

I don't post as much as I should. Going back a few weeks I have an interesting story.

My coat, the suave black pea coat, has been sent away for cleaning and repair. I lost a button and I ripped the back cause of my muscles... Anyway the past few weeks have been the coldest in a long time. That blizzard? Yeah Chicago got two inches. Stupid suburbs with their stupid snow days. I needed a coat of some sort to keep me warm. After a long search from store to store I found nothing. At last at American Eagle there was really cool hoodie that was insulated and look really warm. However the price tag was...steep to say the last. After some debate with myself, I decided to buy it. However my card did not have the funds. So my parents had to transfer the money. I kept going back again and again to see if my card would work yet, but it never did. By the end of the fiasco, the people knew my name. Now that I do have it, it isn't warm. The hell if I'm returning it at that store though! I'm waiting till I get home! I felt bad for Justin. I dragged back and forth to the north side. But he had sex with Chipotle in the end so as was well in the world.

I just turned in my English portfolio and tomorrow I have two finals. After that I'm done and going back to Batavia!! The whole situation with my last blog has improved. It is just taking time and I have no patience! What helped was the fact that they really know me now, as do most of my friends.

Nothing out of the ordinary is happening here. A lot of studying or not studying by going on facebook and other distractions. In fact I should be studying for those finals tomorrow...

Suffice to say that those four goals I made in high school are now complete... I won't go into details.

Honestly, I don't know what to blog! The city smells, the snow is black, Ogleive Station had a shoot out, and Michael is thawing out.

I'm ready to come home! I want to see my friends again and work! Yeah, I know. I have missed working at Target. But it gives me something to do and money money money! I need money! As I said before, Chicago + College = Poor Beggar. Fiscal Responsibility Michael! Remember that!

What does Michael want for Christmas? No college debts! Friends! A career! A date! World peace! Wait, scratch that last one. If I plan on going into the Peace Corps the world must be in turmoil. Evil? I know.

Why do I refer to myself in the third person...

Loser?

What is this? Two posts in one day??

I guess this is just bothering me. I hear so many stories about how college is so great and how they have met so many cool people, but this is not reflecting my experience. Yes, I am having fun and I have met some people. But I don't have any great friends or even good friends. Maybe one or two, but it seems that everyone has these great friendships built up and I don't. I have reverted to shy Michael, which bugs the hell out of me. I don't know how to act, what to say or what to do. I like coming home. Is this bad? It should be cause I should have friends! I don't know what to think. I shock a lot of people when I responded with an apathetic sigh when they ask me how college is going.

Lord knows I can't just be myself! Then again, few people know who I really am.

What Do I Constantly Thank God For?

This is when I will gain my "Freshman 15." These past two days have been all right to say the least. Usually when it comes to holidays, it means travel. Three hours being stuck in car with little room for my legs just to get to a trashy little town where your redneck family lives. I love them yes, but the trip is never enjoyable!

However this year the Trower family (my mom's side) was supposed to come to our house. Both of my sides of my family are on a holiday rotation. Don't ask because I don't understand it. Anyway, the Trowers will be the Trowers, and they will never leave their little town. So my thanksgiving consisted of my aunt and uncle, three cousins, my grandma and my great-uncle and great-aunt. Compared to the amount of people who could have come, that is not a lot. I guess I like to have a lot of people for my thanksgivings.

I am so used to coming home and being bored, that this weekend was strange. Now that everyone was home, everyone wanted to do something. Of course drama ensued. I don't even care anymore.

Lets start at the beginning: I met Zachary and Aimee downtown around the Daley Plaza. I then introduced Aimee to the wonders of the "L" system. As we waited we saw a train come. But we were surprised to find out that this particular train had twinkling lights, trees, reindeer and Santa's sleigh attached. As it passed we stared in amazement, wanting to be on that train! Eventually a train came and took us to O’Hare where we met Miles, straight from Savannah. Damn him and his tan! But for whatever reason, I love O’Hare. It is so full of life, excitement, and foreigners!

After a short excursion to the wonderful campus of North Central, we ended up in Geneva where Aimee, Zachary and I ate at Subway. I forgot how real Subway tastes like. They had real bread! At some point in time I went to Colleen's house where that whole group of friends had a get-together. I was slightly pissed because somehow everyone thought I had changed so much and wouldn’t get off my back. Am I the same person? It reminded me when Nancy and Lauren said that I had changed drastically. What is going on?!

Thanksgiving was all right. I almost got drunk on a glass of wine since I had just woken up and had nothing in my stomach. I quickly ate something before I embarrassed myself.

I am getting tired of going through exactly what happened day in and day out. Basically I never had any time to myself, which was good sometimes and bad others. I saw some of my friends I hadn’t seen for a very long time. But at the same time people constantly invaded my house and I couldn’t escape.

Do I dare say anything about Merika?

I also went back to work at Target for two days! There were so many new faces and so many familiar ones as well. It felt good to be working again. It gave me something to do and some extra money since I am poor. God college and Chicago both swallow up money.

I'm just thankful I have food, a house, a family, friends and Graeme! Now I need to work on my love life...

Txt Msg Brkup

It's the only song title I had about a phone...

Oh my phone. Rest in peace. For two years you have been mine and you are now gone. How I will miss you so.

You survived many dangers. Maggie loved to chew on you. She cracked your screen, but they were only marks of love.

You vibration was amazingly strong! Many people loved to feel it...

You were the strongest phone ever! I dropped you, threw you, and abused you and still you survived until the very end. Remember the time I used you as a Frisbee?

The crazy chicken threw everyone off! You made me look like an idiot but I loved you for it. I had the one original ring. When you clucked I heard you for miles. Never will you cluck again.

Your battery life sucked and you had no features to you. You were called vision phone but you couldn’t see anything. But I loved you nonetheless.

You broke, you never worked, you gave me hell, you sucked.

You were my first. I will always remember you.

The Katana has come into my life and it has cut my heart and my fingers up! The camera rocks my world. As does the sleekness of my new baby! Oh how I love thee!

My new phone is amazing, yes but it is no crazy chicken. My heart is torn.

Wow, I need to go to bed.

Chicago Is So Two Years Ago

Through my travels of the city I have come up with a thesis in a sense about how the city is constructed here it goes.

There are three main levels to the city with two sub-levels in between. The main three are called 1) The Underground 2) The Facade and 3) The Elevated Place.

First The Underground a.k.a Hell. This is the subway stations. When people go down to the depths, they change. No longer are they smiling, friendly people. They become afraid and shut themselves behind mental walls. They don't look at you but rather though you. And who wouldn't? The rancid odor of time and rust and the crazy entertainers making everything that more awkward. You lose all sense of time and place down in Hell.

Next is The Facade, what everyone sees. This is the main level of the city, the ground. What the mayor wants you to see. Things are all ordered nicely with street lights, shops and houses. Trees line the sidewalks and the weather is all around you. This is the image of Chicago and every city, and this is where people act normal, or as they think of it.

Last is The Elevated Place. Obviously this would be the elevated trains, the "el" or "L." This in a sense is similar to The Underground since they both are train systems and people here also hide behind their own walls. But there is one important distinction. From The Elevated Place you truly see the city. You see every good and bad thing. You see the skyline and the ghetto. Only here can you see Chicago for what it truly is.

Now there are two sub-levels. The first is between The Underground and The Facade that I call The Underworld. Chicago was built on a marsh, and therefore the city is raised from it's normal level a few feet or so. This is most prominent by the lake where there exists a whole other street underneath Michigan Avenue. Very few people know about this, and of course, no tourists go down. There are also places where the entrance is farther down than the ground, such as my dorm and many houses and apartment buildings.

The last sub-level is between The Facade and The Elevated Place. I call it The Metra. It is not as high up as the "el" but it exists above the ground somewhat and has an atmosphere between the two. One can somewhat see the city for what it is but there exists no real change in people's demeanor, for no one fears getting mugged on a Metra train.

This is my thesis and I am crazy.

My Family!

The Future Freaks Me Out

Where do I begin? Let's start with today.

The only thing I cared about was my Greek test. I spent two days of massive studying and memorization. I had large breaks where I rested my brain while watching the Game Show Network. The general feeling before the test was one of anxiety. Nobody felt confident simply because the professor does not really teach much. He relies on the students to teach themselves. However, if I'm not pushed, I get lazy. So I resorted to days of studying. I learned as much as my brain would allow. I wrote the rest on my arms and legs.

I thought a C would be nice for the test. I was one of two people that I know of that got an A. Was there a curve? Most likely because most got C's and some B's. But why did I set the curve? Most of the class is upper classmen. Wouldn't they be better at this whole studying thing? I even beat out the smart kid in the class. I'm happy but also very confused. I was planning on not taking Greek anymore. I figure since I will be gone 1st semester next year, it would be best to start a language during my Junior year. I need 4 semesters of one language and I would rather have those 4 years in succession. But now I am rethinking that. What to do??

For my Success in the City class we need to do a presentation of a neighborhood. We wished to do a PowerPoint, but UIC will only supply the projector, not a laptop. Nobody wanted to bring his or her laptop so I volunteered my baby, though I worry she may be hurt. Oh no! I'm becoming middle school Paul!

But to connect my computer I needed a special connector that I was forced to buy, of course! While going downtown, I saw a large pillar of smoke and wondered if there was a fire somewhere. I put it out of my mind and went into the store. After some searching they found the connector I needed. Why is the Apple store always so busy?? Anyway, I stopped by Chiptole due to my very sharp hunger, and I delved into a burrito. As I came out it was dark, but I still saw the cloud of smoke. I went to the El station where I was almost denied access. Thankfully I was taking the Pink Line, which was the one of the lines not closed to the fire. Apparently an older building started on fire. And what a fire it was! It was only a few blocks from Christina. Check her facebok for pictures.

I got new frames!! I like them a lot! I feel like an artist even though I lack artistic ability! YAY!

I went down to U of I this past weekend. I was so happy to be with everyone again. It was very crowded however. Six people in a dorm room were a little too much. We did a lot of nothing which is always fun. And of course when there is a group of people together 24-7, some of them become a wee bit grumpy. But nonetheless I had fun. When we were coming back the city was clogged with traffic due to the marathon. Thanks a lot Lynn!

Yup. I don't know what else to write other than goodbye.

ΕΛΛΗΝΙΚΗ ΓΛΩΣΣΑ

After class today I went downtown alone on a random decision. I was in the mood for tall buildings, people, cars, noise, birds, shops, crazies, and the numerous smells of the city and underground stations. Odd that I would crave such smells. As I came out of the Jackson Station a.k.a. Hell, I saw in front of me a Barnes and Nobel store. Naturally drawn to such places, I went inside. I found myself in front of the Foreign Langauge section and bought one of those "Teach Yourself..." packages. And what other language would I choose? ???????? Of course!

After much more wandering I appeared outside the door of Chipotle. Or course I need a burrito. I took my fake Mexican prize over to the Federal building where I ate it outside. As I ate I studied an overly curious pigeon. After he studied me back, I flicked a piece of the burrito to him. He however was very cautious, but in the end ate it up. This pattern continued for most of my burrito with no interruptions from other birds. The pigeon, who I now name Pigeoto from Pokemon, and I had a bond, in my mind of course. But of course, one bird saw this feast I was giving out and within seconds I had a flock around me. I had become the crazy person who feeds the birds. I laughed at myself and went on my way.

Such a meaningless encounter made me happy from my mistakes earlier in the day. Waking up at 9 am is not a good idea when one has a 9 o'clock class and one lives on the West Side of campus and when one has a quiz that is taken on Wednesdays in that 9 o'clock class and will not give a chance to make it up. Yeah, sucks doesn't it?

I am finding myself sleeping in more and more. I cannot wake up on time anymore no matter how much sleep I get. I need to change something or bring my mother to college. I depended on her yelling at me in the morning. What do I have now? An alarm clock that I turn off in my sleep? I even moved it away from my bed, and I still somehow turn it off while sleeping! College is for the insomniacs.

I also have an impending Greek exam. Why did I take this class? I don't even plan on going to Greece anytime soon and only Greece, Crete and maybe Cyprus and parts of Turkey speak Greek. Why didn't I take Portuguese?

Funny story: Yesterday I was coming home from class to eat before I had to go back again for Classics 102. I was running behind and was planning on getting my Cambells To Go soup in my room. I had my iPod on and could hear very little other than Nelly Furtado. I was dancing to the beat of Promiscuous Girl! But as I start to open my door I hear Pat, my roommate say "Mike!" I didn't even know he was there. I figured he was still out or in class. So as I come in I find him in bed, thinking he went back to bed due to an early morning. However this was not the case as I studied the situation more closely. There were four pair of legs, one coming from under his covers where there was muffled laughter. I looked back at Pat and realized he was wearing very little, if anything. Within seconds I was gone, and I ran to Melissa's room for consoling. She only laughed at me. I felt bad more than embarrassed. I ruined the mood!!! We have a system now. Put something on the door!!

College is starting to scare me. If I do bad on an assignment, I'm screwed. My grade is based off so little, and sometimes only the midterm and final. This is not High School anymore!

Call me sometime. I need friends.

If there is some grammar or spelling mistake, I am sorry. My editor, Microsoft Word, decided to go crazy.

Don't Push ME!

It seems that because I don't party every single night at college, I seem to be some sort of an outcast. Is it so wrong to want to remember fun times and not be under the influence of one thing or another constantly? I see people all around me party all the time. Wait! Aren't you at school? Don't you have homework? One word to describe them - Idiots. Sure I've been to parties (Emily shut your mouth!) and I will have fun once in awhile. But excuse me for wanting to learn and have friendships not built on drugs and alcohol.

I hope they all drop out real quick and get their parents pissed at them! Sadistic I know.

I have procrastinated for over a week and put my English paper off. And now I have been sitting here all day trying to pump this out without faking it. I try to work hard on every assignment. I flew threw High School but I'm afraid of doing that here cause it won't happen.

Biggest development - I got contacts. They are only a trial pair and I go back Saturday for a check up. It took me along time to get them in and out the first time, but I was with the doctor. When I was alone the first time I freaked! I'm getting much better and my fear of the eye has gone down a lot. This weird guy the works at the desk in my dorm always will comment whether I am wearing my glasses or not. Every time I pass him. He kind of scares me...

Last night Chi-T and I realized we were the only two people on the entire floor. It was so quiet and boring that we started to run around, dance, do gymnastics and other crazy things. We then settled down to play some games and whatnot. Another girl that plays video games. Those are rare to come by.

I will not get fat, I will not get fat, I will not get fat, I will not get fat, I will not get fat, I will not get fat!

Who am I convincing? You or me?

I really need to get back to homework. Stop distracting ME!

Do Ya?

Two commercials that have caught my eye. Why am I posting them? Simply because I have nothing else to post and I need to entertain those of you who like to spy on the "Inner Me." Maybe these commercials say something about me... ;)



The band's name is Peaches. She is a crazy woman FYI!

Next one is everyone's favorite girl!



Oh, Audrey! You sure can dance to AC/DC! Patrick sure loves her. The Gap makes pretty good commercials! Unlike Old Navy, though I like their clothes better.

It is poring down rain here and I love the thunder!

Stina and I recently bought The Sims 2, and at the request of many people on my floor, I created them in the world. I am now obsessed. It's funny though how I like creating a life I never will have. To live out my dreams and fantasies through The Sims. It is surprising how many people want to kill Sims in the game. It's one of the first things said when they find out I have the game. That and sex.

Last weekend I went to Naperville to visit Zachary. Since I know he reads this, I will say I had a delightful time. ;) It was fun though to meet new people and to gossip like days gone bye. After eating that food I did feel I needed to take a few more trips to the Lou though...

I don't want to recount every single detail of the past however many days since I've last blogged. Only Zachary and Miles do that one! I still feel lonely but I know friendships will come eventually.

LOST STARTS WEDNESDAY!!!!!!!

Tomorrow I leave back for Batavia so I can get my election judge training. I didn’t sign up but for some reason they thought I did or assumed. I don’t mind too much and welcome the extra money I will take in. I always need that. I can’t wait until I am in debt after school!