Freak out

Sometimes I just want to curl into a ball and scream. Nothing seems to be working for me lately. Boys suck, the CTA sucks, Chicago has sucked lately, the cold bites, my health ain't so great, friends aren't great, money is scarce, job is a killer, etc. etc. I thought the end of the semester was supposed to usher in happy times? That has not happened as of yet.

December Member

Whoooooaaa that was a long break! An intentional one nonetheless. Quick recap of the past three months of my life?

-Crazy-hard classes
-Lots of working in Wrigleyville
-Volunteer programs

That pretty much sums it up. Now that my final undergraduate fall semester is over, I can confidently say that I accomplished more this semester than any other previous. If only I had started earlier!

Anyway, life in the city has become difficult. I love my roommates and we usually get along pretty well but lately I have been under such stress and external pressures that I can't relax with them anymore. It is also slightly annoying to have so many people personally involved in the day-to-day aspects of my life. I can't make a decision or do something without them knowing or trying to find out. The lack of privacy disturbs me. I need an extended period away from everyone. Luckily, the store will be close for about a week and I will spend most of that time in Batavia hanging out with people I don't get to see very often.

Recap on the boy situation - as usual I get myself into bad situations that I end up running away from. In a nutshell, a boy liked me, I liked him and we hit it off at first. But within a couple of days he became possessive and moved things far too fast for my comfort, talking about long term relationships, marriage and children. He also got mad if I didn't text him every day. It weirded me out and I got out of the situation as quickly as possible! I have also met another boy who I have slowly kicked things off with. Key word, slowly. I have a hard time reading him and he gives off mixed signals so I am very unsure of what we are. But no worries! With encouragement from Miles, I think I need to have a very frank conversation with him telling him that I would like to date him! I have no idea how this will turn out though.

So now I look forward to a relaxing winter break! I thought it was going to be fairly lazy, but to my surprise I have been finding a lot of things to do. Unfortunately I have to work on New Year's Eve, so no crazy parties for me. This will also be the first time in three years that I will not kiss a boy at midnight on the 1st! The times, they are a-changing.