Saturday, March 31, 2007

The Denial Twist

Things that have happened over spring break!

1) Got kicked out of the house
2) Been relying on friends all week to take care of me
3) Party
4) Haven't shaved for 5 or 6 days
5) Haven't showered in a few days --> these are things that haven't happened I guess...

This week has been absolutely crazy in both a good and bad way.

The first night of spring break, Ian, Johnny, Chithra and I went out for a night on the town. We went out to eat in Wicker Park at a crazy vegan restaurant, did Hookah, went on the BumTrain (an El car filled with homeless bums who smelled like poop and farts) and had a great time! The perfect start to a spring break which was completely ruined.

So I broke the rules my parents set up. I know, I fucked up. But to kick me out is an overreaction. This incident is bringing to light my family's insecurities and problems with who I am. If your trying to teach me a lesson, nothing will be learned. I am gay and if you try to change a.k.a. brainwash me, you will only mess me up mentally. I did not choose this lifestyle and would not wish it on anyone, but I can only embrace it. I will not deny myself.

And so I became a drifter. I stayed with Cassie for two days. She is a very cool girl and I am so thankful she wanted to help. We then went to Chicago (which I drove Cassie's car downtown) and had a night of shopping and eating. We crashed in my dorm and the next day, I moved to Ian. Isaac was supposed to join us, but he bailed. After Ian, I went to NCC with Ian and Johnny to stay with Zachary. It was a school day and I feel bad for putting myself on him, but I had very little choice and I wanted to see him. NCC had a gambling night and I found out that I would not survive in Las Vegas unless I cheated. After NCC we went to NIU to stay with Merika. I really missed her and we had a very fun time. Paul joined us and we had ourselves a fun get-together. When I woke up, Hector was there and I was more than confused. However Ian rushed us out the door and now I am sitting in the Batavia library alone and with no place to go.

I really had an amazing and different week, but I feel bad for the drifter status my friends had to deal with. Thank you all so much for supporting me through this difficult time in my life. I love you all and value your friendships above anything else right now.

To my parents: I don't want to talk to you right now. Your denial and rejection of me has hurt too much to say. I know I am not the best son in the world, but I only ever wanted your love and acceptance. You are incapable of the latter right now. I will call soon, but for now I need space.

And now I need to know what I am going to do...

Tuesday, March 13, 2007


I apologize for the title. It was on and I laughed...

Anyway things have been picking up lately. Last night however was horrible. I swear I had a fever and I have been coughing a lot lately. My sickness forced me to miss a midterm, though I emailed him and hopefully he will understand. But I got better around 3 or 4 and with the very nice temperature, I had to go out. I have been a trapped animal for the past winter in my dorm.

I wore shorts and flip-flops. It was amazing! I also went on a short shopping spree. It makes me feel better! Perhaps I should call my parents to make sure I have enough money.

Anyway, I had a nice experience downtown today with my boo and friends. Even though I was coughing and spitting up flem a lot, it still felt good to get out. And no bums, no theifs!

Jamba, A & F, Hollister, and Urban Outfitters later, I was one happy boy. I don't feel like going into any more detail so I'm just going to stop here.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

I Still Love You, I Promise!

Don't be mad blogger. You still hold the key to my heart. Just because I have neglected your for over a month means absolutely nothing! I was just to busy to care! And no, I will not go into a detailed description of the past month.

Ok, so huge changes have occurred in my life. Very big. Largest of Large. Enormously Enormous. But guess what? Due to some readers of my blog, I am unable to write it down in English. So I will attempt to do what Zachary does, and translate it into another language that I know, Greek! Ok, so here it goes.

Γιαννίς μένω μαζί με.

That was most likely the worst Greek ever, and I am in Greek 102. Anyway, after weeks of deliberation and playing with the idea, it happened. It has been hard, but for the most part it is working out very well and I couldn't be happier.

What else happened? Oh, nothing much. I just got pick-pocketed! Zachary and Co. from NCC came to Chicago on Thursday to go to a gay club up on the North side. We met Zachary at Union and Johnny, Ian and the two of us went out to eat beforehand. Ian would not go [understandably] and we parted ways. On the way to the club, we were getting on a Red Line train underground when it happened. I bumped into a guy and said I was sorry. He then went in front of me, with his back turned to me, and continued to step on my feet in a hard and sarcastic manner. I thought he was angry cause I bumped into him. I was wrong. After going around him, he ran away, the doors closed and I sat down. A random bystander told me to check my wallet, and I knew at that moment what happened. I freaked. I wanted to go home so badly, but I was forcibly persuaded to go to the club still. And I did, though Zachary's friends had no idea where they were going. If I hadn't been so utterly distracted and upset, I would have helped.

Everything was gone. My ID, my college ID Johnny's ID, my UPass [gets me onto the CTA], Justin's UPass, Johnny's $20, my two debit cards, random shit, my social security number, and all my senior pictures. The other day I attempted to go into the city and get a new UPass and ID. However, CTA doesn't take checks, the only form of payment I had left, and no bank [even my own] would cash a personal check. And the DMV wouldn't let me get a new ID without some form of ID. Ironic and annoying. After a two hour trip into the city and getting shut down everywhere, I sat down and almost cried. My experiences are making me hate Chicago, and I don't want to hate Chicago. But how can't I with bums everywhere, thiefs, annoying/slow/unreliable CTA, nastiness and other unpleasantness? Hopefully this is just a phase...

Anyway, I don't have too much else to say. I want winter to end because I am tired and pissed off by being cold. I like the sun and warm!

See blogger, I don't hate you!