Thursday, April 30, 2009

Disaster Averted!

The apartment search almost blew up in everyone's faces. Here is what happened.

We found this wonderful apartment in Logan's Square that was incredibly cheap but nice! We all agreed that Logan's Square was not a great area to live in, but for that price we couldn't say no. However, Merika's dad had a huge issue with it, and due to his bickering with Merika, it delayed the process and we had to let the apartment go. Ian told me after that he thought Merika was unsure about getting an apartment anymore and I said that if she was unsure we should continue looking for other apartments in case she does drop out. That simple sentence got "rumor-weeded" (when a small rumor gets blown out of proportion) and somehow it came into our minds that Merika was out altogether. But Merika was unaware that she had been unofficially kicked-out. When I talked to her to confirm that she was out, she was surprised and angry. I had to coax Ian to let her back in, which he did (grudgingly). Isaac was just confused but had no issues with letting Merika back in, so long as her parents don't force us to lose another apartment.

Saturday we have an appointment with the apartment people. Hopefully it works out. I have been telling Ian to make an appointment for weeks but he never did. So I had to do it myself. I have been intentionally out of the decision making process up to this point because I didn't care, but now that things almost fell apart I feel like I need to take a more active role otherwise I may be homeless!

Wise Insight?

In my attempt to find some answers, I turn to the source of all that is wisdom -! Here is the results on whether or not my relationship will last. Kind of depressing.

Your Relationship Will Last For A While!

This may be hard for you to swallow, but you and your guy might not last

At least not forever. He's somewhere between Mr. Right... and Mr. Right Now

No doubt your guy is a great catch - and generally good to you

The odds are, however, that someone better is out there!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

From Mono to May

I realize that it has been a long time since I have posted any sort of update into my life. I had a sudden burst of surprising motivation to study, work, and still be social. Now, as the semester ends and my obligations to school begin to wane, I find myself bored and beginning to become unmotivated again, though I have nothing to do anyway.

So, the largest event in my life this past month has been getting a job. I work (I don't want to say the name because my boss has a Google alert for whenever anyone mentions the name and that would lead them right to this website) at a pizza joint up in Wrigleyville. It is far away, but the environment in fun and I love the people I work with. Dealing with drunk Cubs fans is more appealing than it may seem at first. We usually just make fun of them behind their backs. Or to their faces. They really can't tell. Then after a late night (sometimes 4 or 5am) we all sit back and drink a couple of beers as we reminisce about the night. And I get paid! Not a bad deal if you ask me.

The apartment search has had mixed results. Currently, I am trying to find a place with Isaac, Ian and Merika. We have found a few places we like, but lost them. However, it has solidified Isaac as a roommate and we are all fairly confident in our ability to coexist. I expect living with these fools will create a great deal of adventures. I can't wait! However, I don't have any money. I am working now, so I am saving what I can but after Greece and Johnny, I have $0. I need some time to work and not pay rent so I can save, but this leaves a gap from May 9th (when I have to move out of the dorms) to June 1st where I have nowhere to live. I could go home, but I have a job in Chicago that sometimes I cannot commute back from. I am hoping a miracle will happen in the next week and a half.

My relationship has also gotten better, in some ways. I have stopped putting pressures on it and let things happen naturally, and it is good. I like being with him a lot. This creates another problem though. I fear getting to close to him since he is graduating in less than a month and is unsure about the direction of his life. Also, I am fairly certain that I am going to try my luck at getting into the Peace Corps which, if accepted, would take me away for at least two years. And yet I want to be close with someone. With him. It is all very confusing and hard to deal with. I try as hard as possible to keep myself at a distance, but I find that harder to do as time goes on. I only hope I make the right decision when the time comes.

I think I am destined to never settle down in any one place for an extended period. With my goals of the Peace Corps, then maybe graduate school followed hopefully by the State Department (which would ship me around constantly on tours of 2 to 4 years, much like the Peace Corps) I am going to be a drifter. And I like it! Chicago is beginning to wear on me. I am excited to graduate and leave for somewhere else! The plan is hopefully Jordan. I start Arabic 101 next fall!

Photo by Arian Behzadi... I think

Sunday, April 12, 2009

What my feet say about me?

I liked this one.

Your Feet Say You're Flexible

You are pretty average in your expressiveness. You can express yourself well, but you don't always want to.

You are a very passionate person. You are highly charged and easily inspired.

You are an assertive person at times. You'll pull out all the stops to get what you want, if it's worth it.

You take a while to fall in love, but once you do, you stay pretty attached to your partner.

You are not afraid of anything. You are brave and courageous, even when most people would be terrified.

You are intellectual and philosophical. You are more concerned with thoughts than action.

You are very spoiled. You don't work unless you have to, and you love to be waited on.

You are easily influenced by other people. You're quite impressionable, so you should only be around people who are a good influence.

Monday, April 06, 2009

Really? Snow? Again?

Seriously, where the fuck is Spring? I am tired of being cold. It makes me miserable and therefore pissy and grumpy, perhaps a bit frumpy. If I see snow again, I will scream. Loudly. And probably cry a little bit.

Sunday, April 05, 2009


I think too much. I create problems where there are none, or I take a small incident, roll it around my head over and over again until it has become blown out of proportion. Or perhaps I am right to question people, to doubt and protect myself. I am not sure.

There has always been a level of trust within me for everyone. My life is (more or less) and open book for those who care. I don't keep many secrets. But that trust goes only so deep. To earn access to my deeper feelings and emotions now requires such a trust that I no longer give out freely. After my particularity scaring relationship with Johnny, I have been left with a mistrust for those who seek out my presence. And now I find myself stuck at that same crossroads; do I give out my trust to one who has done nothing wrong that I am currently aware of, or (as you may have presumed from the tone of the sentence) do I guard my heart? I am suspicious. Is it right to be?

This is creating anxiety within me. At a time where I feel like I am finally getting my life on track, do I take a chance and possibly set myself further back? Or would it be beneficial for me? I guess time will tell. I lack wisdom in regards to decisions about my future. I react emotionally rather than practically, a trait which has got me stuck in numerous bad decisions.

I was having a wonderful weekend too! I have never studied so much before in my life! I am super motivated and concentrated to do my work, that is until I was faced with this. Sorry Ronald Regan, Voltaire, capitalism, neolithic societies and geology, right now I am busy. My mind is filled with much less important things.

Tea makes me jittery. Just saying...

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

The Kissing Disease

Sorry about the lack of posting lately, but I just got over the worst spring break in my life, and its up there on the list as one of the worst weeks of my life to date.

Monday seemed bright and cheery, until I had my foot surgery for the plantar's wart that has been stuck in my foot for years. I can still remember Kristi Carlson trying to dig it out of my foot. I let it go for so long and it grew to become a monster. Surgery was the only practical solution. The rest of Monday and Tuesday was spent with me laying down, watching TV.

Tuesday night I began to feel strange. Wednesday morning I had a full blown fever, one that would not go away until Sunday night. I have never been so unproductive in my life or watched so much "Everybody Loves Raymond." I hate that show. I hated it before I was sick. At one point, my fever reached to 104 and I couldn't stop dry heaving. My mother took me to the hospital in the wee hours of Thursday morning, where I spent a good three or four hours. The diagnosis: infectious mononucleosis, a.k.a. mono. Great!

I can't stop sleeping now. My throat doesn't really hurt that much anymore, but the exhaustion is getting to me. I am also thrilled to hobble around campus in my stylish boot.

Despite these major set backs, I feel motivated and happy. It is getting warmer out, the semester is close to being done with, and I am ready to get my life going! This semester has sucked thus far. It began with major depression from reverse culture shock and moving back into the dorms, continued to suck with my sickness, but is finally (I hope) turning around. I just hope I can get a good job so I can live here over the summer!

I still need a concentration of studies for history and I am still unsure of what to do. Any ideas?

Photo by Elliot Erwitt