Disaster Averted!

The apartment search almost blew up in everyone's faces. Here is what happened.

We found this wonderful apartment in Logan's Square that was incredibly cheap but nice! We all agreed that Logan's Square was not a great area to live in, but for that price we couldn't say no. However, Merika's dad had a huge issue with it, and due to his bickering with Merika, it delayed the process and we had to let the apartment go. Ian told me after that he thought Merika was unsure about getting an apartment anymore and I said that if she was unsure we should continue looking for other apartments in case she does drop out. That simple sentence got "rumor-weeded" (when a small rumor gets blown out of proportion) and somehow it came into our minds that Merika was out altogether. But Merika was unaware that she had been unofficially kicked-out. When I talked to her to confirm that she was out, she was surprised and angry. I had to coax Ian to let her back in, which he did (grudgingly). Isaac was just confused but had no issues with letting Merika back in, so long as her parents don't force us to lose another apartment.

Saturday we have an appointment with the apartment people. Hopefully it works out. I have been telling Ian to make an appointment for weeks but he never did. So I had to do it myself. I have been intentionally out of the decision making process up to this point because I didn't care, but now that things almost fell apart I feel like I need to take a more active role otherwise I may be homeless!

Wise Insight?

In my attempt to find some answers, I turn to the source of all that is wisdom - Blogthings.com! Here is the results on whether or not my relationship will last. Kind of depressing.

Your Relationship Will Last For A While!

This may be hard for you to swallow, but you and your guy might not last At least not forever. He's somewhere between Mr. Right... and Mr. Right Now No doubt your guy is a great catch - and generally good to you The odds are, however, that someone better is out there!

How Long Will Your Relationship With Your Guy Last?

From Mono to May

I realize that it has been a long time since I have posted any sort of update into my life. I had a sudden burst of surprising motivation to study, work, and still be social. Now, as the semester ends and my obligations to school begin to wane, I find myself bored and beginning to become unmotivated again, though I have nothing to do anyway.

So, the largest event in my life this past month has been getting a job. I work (I don't want to say the name because my boss has a Google alert for whenever anyone mentions the name and that would lead them right to this website) at a pizza joint up in Wrigleyville. It is far away, but the environment in fun and I love the people I work with. Dealing with drunk Cubs fans is more appealing than it may seem at first. We usually just make fun of them behind their backs. Or to their faces. They really can't tell. Then after a late night (sometimes 4 or 5am) we all sit back and drink a couple of beers as we reminisce about the night. And I get paid! Not a bad deal if you ask me.

The apartment search has had mixed results. Currently, I am trying to find a place with Isaac, Ian and Merika. We have found a few places we like, but lost them. However, it has solidified Isaac as a roommate and we are all fairly confident in our ability to coexist. I expect living with these fools will create a great deal of adventures. I can't wait! However, I don't have any money. I am working now, so I am saving what I can but after Greece and Johnny, I have $0. I need some time to work and not pay rent so I can save, but this leaves a gap from May 9th (when I have to move out of the dorms) to June 1st where I have nowhere to live. I could go home, but I have a job in Chicago that sometimes I cannot commute back from. I am hoping a miracle will happen in the next week and a half.

My relationship has also gotten better, in some ways. I have stopped putting pressures on it and let things happen naturally, and it is good. I like being with him a lot. This creates another problem though. I fear getting to close to him since he is graduating in less than a month and is unsure about the direction of his life. Also, I am fairly certain that I am going to try my luck at getting into the Peace Corps which, if accepted, would take me away for at least two years. And yet I want to be close with someone. With him. It is all very confusing and hard to deal with. I try as hard as possible to keep myself at a distance, but I find that harder to do as time goes on. I only hope I make the right decision when the time comes.

I think I am destined to never settle down in any one place for an extended period. With my goals of the Peace Corps, then maybe graduate school followed hopefully by the State Department (which would ship me around constantly on tours of 2 to 4 years, much like the Peace Corps) I am going to be a drifter. And I like it! Chicago is beginning to wear on me. I am excited to graduate and leave for somewhere else! The plan is hopefully Jordan. I start Arabic 101 next fall!

Photo by Arian Behzadi... I think

What my feet say about me?

I liked this one.

Your Feet Say You're Flexible

You are pretty average in your expressiveness. You can express yourself well, but you don't always want to. You are a very passionate person. You are highly charged and easily inspired. You are an assertive person at times. You'll pull out all the stops to get what you want, if it's worth it. You take a while to fall in love, but once you do, you stay pretty attached to your partner. You are not afraid of anything. You are brave and courageous, even when most people would be terrified. You are intellectual and philosophical. You are more concerned with thoughts than action. You are very spoiled. You don't work unless you have to, and you love to be waited on. You are easily influenced by other people. You're quite impressionable, so you should only be around people who are a good influence.

What Do Your Feet Say About You?

Really? Snow? Again?

Seriously, where the fuck is Spring? I am tired of being cold. It makes me miserable and therefore pissy and grumpy, perhaps a bit frumpy. If I see snow again, I will scream. Loudly. And probably cry a little bit.

Melodrama

I think too much. I create problems where there are none, or I take a small incident, roll it around my head over and over again until it has become blown out of proportion. Or perhaps I am right to question people, to doubt and protect myself. I am not sure.

There has always been a level of trust within me for everyone. My life is (more or less) and open book for those who care. I don't keep many secrets. But that trust goes only so deep. To earn access to my deeper feelings and emotions now requires such a trust that I no longer give out freely. After my particularity scaring relationship with Johnny, I have been left with a mistrust for those who seek out my presence. And now I find myself stuck at that same crossroads; do I give out my trust to one who has done nothing wrong that I am currently aware of, or (as you may have presumed from the tone of the sentence) do I guard my heart? I am suspicious. Is it right to be?

This is creating anxiety within me. At a time where I feel like I am finally getting my life on track, do I take a chance and possibly set myself further back? Or would it be beneficial for me? I guess time will tell. I lack wisdom in regards to decisions about my future. I react emotionally rather than practically, a trait which has got me stuck in numerous bad decisions.

I was having a wonderful weekend too! I have never studied so much before in my life! I am super motivated and concentrated to do my work, that is until I was faced with this. Sorry Ronald Regan, Voltaire, capitalism, neolithic societies and geology, right now I am busy. My mind is filled with much less important things.

Tea makes me jittery. Just saying...

The Kissing Disease

Sorry about the lack of posting lately, but I just got over the worst spring break in my life, and its up there on the list as one of the worst weeks of my life to date.

Monday seemed bright and cheery, until I had my foot surgery for the plantar's wart that has been stuck in my foot for years. I can still remember Kristi Carlson trying to dig it out of my foot. I let it go for so long and it grew to become a monster. Surgery was the only practical solution. The rest of Monday and Tuesday was spent with me laying down, watching TV.

Tuesday night I began to feel strange. Wednesday morning I had a full blown fever, one that would not go away until Sunday night. I have never been so unproductive in my life or watched so much "Everybody Loves Raymond." I hate that show. I hated it before I was sick. At one point, my fever reached to 104 and I couldn't stop dry heaving. My mother took me to the hospital in the wee hours of Thursday morning, where I spent a good three or four hours. The diagnosis: infectious mononucleosis, a.k.a. mono. Great!

I can't stop sleeping now. My throat doesn't really hurt that much anymore, but the exhaustion is getting to me. I am also thrilled to hobble around campus in my stylish boot.

Despite these major set backs, I feel motivated and happy. It is getting warmer out, the semester is close to being done with, and I am ready to get my life going! This semester has sucked thus far. It began with major depression from reverse culture shock and moving back into the dorms, continued to suck with my sickness, but is finally (I hope) turning around. I just hope I can get a good job so I can live here over the summer!

I still need a concentration of studies for history and I am still unsure of what to do. Any ideas?

Photo by Elliot Erwitt

Moments from my European trip

Originally, I came up with about 30-40 great moments I had in Greece, Rome (plus the Milan airport) and Barcelona. I was in an incredibly nostalgic mood and was evaluating my trip. However, in an attempt to keep with traditional "best of" lists, I have trimmed it down to ten. I submit them for your pleasure. They are in no particular order.

1. My adventure to Pompeii was an epic one. But before I got there, I had to take a train from Rome to Naples. I left Rome around 5 AM, by myself and a little worried. Once I got onto a train, I slept for perhaps and hour and woke up to the rolling countryside of Italy. It was a beautiful site, one that filled me with extreme happiness and joy that I was actually in Italy, one of my life long dreams.

2. After the train ride, the rest of the journey to Pompeii was not great. But, since this is a "happy" list, I wont go into that. Rather, once I arrived in Pompeii, I was in heaven. I had my audio guide, my map and my historical perspective. I was set! I proceeded to walk along the fully intact roads, enter homes, baths, stadiums, temples, etc. I saw everything I could in four hours. And since I was alone, I proceeded to let my imagination take me and pretend that I was a citizen in this ghost town. It may be weird, but I enjoyed myself! And I talked to myself.

3. Keeping with the Italian theme, my entire trip to Rome was wonderful. However, there was a specific moment when I was walking along the Via Appia that I suddenly became incredibly happy. As with my train ride to Naples, I was surrounded by absolute beauty and was walking on an ancient road which I had known about from numerous sources. My destination was the catacombs, but I took the road slowly, taking in the wonderful sights, smells and feel of Italy. It was wonderful!

4. Greece, as many of you know, erupted into violence and riots my last few weeks there over the death of a teenage boy at the hands of a corrupt and incompetent police officer. I could go on about the implications, the history of civil violence in Greece, and the other motives about these riots in great detail, but thats not the point. Since I am an overly curious person, I wanted to see these riots first hand rather than hear "booms" or yelling at a distance. I went with Ryan downtown to a scheduled demonstration, ignoring the warnings of my teachers. At first it was peaceful, but violence soon erupted and a fight between students and riot police broke out. At first it was safely in front of me at a distance. But before long it was all around me. I saw kids throw stones at police, people break down a stage set for a Christmas celebration for more ammunition, tear gas, smoke bombs, and everywhere angry people. I saw what I wanted, but got tear gassed myself before I could get out. Ryan got it worse than me, but a small amount is more than enough. Most people would think this a bad memory, but not me!

5. In Athens, Psyiri is a wonderful neighborhood full of hipster bars and clubs. At first glance it is dirty and probably looks unsafe with the huge graffiti and seemingly broken down buildings. But thats just the scene they like. One night, after having too much to drink and successfully hopped at least 10 bars, Allison and I ran into a friend of ours from the American embassy. He was our age, drunk and with a girl from the other American school in Athens. Allison and I (mainly Allison) proceeded to be large cock blocks the entire night as we stuck with them wherever they went and even got a cab back with them. The greatest moment, (Allison)"Hey, do you guys want to go get some hookah?" The reply was a simultaneous "Yeah!" from the guy and a "No," from the girl. Our work there was done.

6. As our departure back to the States was getting closer, Allison and I wanted to have one last trip up to the Acropolis for sentimental reasons and I had never actually taken any pictures! As we left, we were slightly getting on each others nerves, but once we got to the top we had a blast. Since the riots were still going on, hardly any tourists were there. We snapped some pictures of the buildings but then turned to have a photo shoot of ourselves on the Acropolis. We even found a stray cat who I kept trying to put up on the wall so I could take a picture of it, but it got scared once it saw the steep fall and kept trying to get away from me. Our laughter could be heard all over the Acropolis.

7. The breast cancer event will live in infamy. A few of us had volunteered for the event at the request of our teacher. It began with a lot of talking, which we understood nothing since it was all in Greek. After that, a short theatrical piece was put on with some singing. Again, we had no comprehension of what was going though I thought it was corny and weird to include it at a breast cancer event. However, I noticed a guy in the group who was noticeably cute and gay for that matter. But I forgot it as our duty came up. We were instructed to carry appetizers for the recession like servants. It was crazy. Greeks love their food and the moment they saw us carry it, and they knew it was free, people were swarming us. We tried our best to distribute the food as evenly as possible, but it was hard when four elderly ladies hoarded all the food in a corner and yelled at you if you didn't bring them more. Once the clamor died down a bit, we sat back and rested. We noticed that guy from the stage before sitting with his friends. All of my friends urged me to go talk to him, so I concocted a way to. I kept bringing him food to which he claimed I was trying to make him fat. Later, as I was standing alone with some food and all my friends watching, he came up to me and asked me out on a date, to which I happily said yes. We drank all the rest of the wine that night and went back home. Oh what a night!

8. Perhaps I should have put these in chronological order... Anyway, on our first weekend in Greece, our school brought us to an island called Kea. It was remote and barren, but we were determined to have fun. The first night, there was an arranged beach party. The night consisted of many different antics, dancing, and school sponsored drinking. The night for me was spent with Allison and Rachel, who I had not known for long. The three of us got along very well that night and had a wonderful time. We ended up sleeping together in the same bed, though the girls said I was horrible since I talked and stole all the blankets. It is funny, but by the end of the semester, it ended up being just Allison and I, since Rachel slowly got on our nerves after awhile. I feel bad for kind of ditching her, but we will always have that night.

9. Again, the first week of being in Athens my apartment and the other apartment in our building with students from our school had dinner every night and ended with some wine on the roof as we watched the stars, the Acropolis and got to know each other. That first week was so wonderful since it was drama free, and we all loved each other. As you can tell by the past tense, it didn't stay that way for long, but thats another story. One night in particular, I had finally told them I was gay. We were discussing relevant topics, and I had had too much wine for my own good. When describing my distaste for vaginas, I mentioned that they reminded me of sarlacc pits. Everyone was confused since no one knew what those were. I explained that they were the huge pits in Star Wars in the desert that eat people up, especially in the scene when Jaba the Hutt tries to kill Luke Skywalker by throwing him in one. They have horned looking teeth and are vicious looking. Everyone bursted into laughter and sarlacc became an instant inside joke and was frequently invoked.

10. As I looked down the Corinthian Canal, which happens to be 206 feet deep, I wondered why I was here. I remembered that I had almost missed this opportunity by being too exhausted from my partying the night before, but thinking that I may never have the chance again I decided to tough it up. Everyone began to countdown and I knew I had no other choice. I could feel my heart beating in my chest and I contemplated crying, but decided against that too. The bungee was weighing down on my feet, almost dragging me before I chose to jump. When it came to zero, I leapt as far out as I could and instantly thought, "What the fuck did I just do?" Everything else was a blur.

Photo by Michael Wood! The entrance of the catacombs from the Via Appia

Oh, Illinoise!

Being that I cannot study for history anymore, I thought I would instead update my blog about the happenings of my life and the random thoughts going on in my head these days. By the way, has anyone noticed that this semester is going horribly fast? The closer I get to graduation and the "real world," the faster things go. I am a bit worried about leaving school and being crushed with debt and a horrible job market. Egh.

Anyway, life is good otherwise. I would never have believed it, but I have defined pectorals, biceps, triceps, various leg muscles, and a wonderful gluteus maximus. Working out consistently has been one of the best life decisions I have made in awhile. It makes me feel better, forces me to prioritize my life, improves my heath and my image! If I may be so cocky, "Good job Michael!"

Last weekend was an adventure, one that I needed. Isaac and I went down to the U of I for Unofficial St. Patrick's Day with his friend Chris Johns, who incidentally got ahold of my UIC name and password last year and proceeded to get me banned from the internet for a week due to massive downloading, but I forgave him. Anyway, the trip was fun and incredibly decadent. Champaign was filled with thousands of drunk college kids roaming around, looking for a cool party or food. Needless to say, Chipotle was packed the entire weekend. Gabby's party was fun, and a bit interesting with the two exs being so close together for the first time in awhile. They behaved, but hardly. I had to put my iron foot down a few times. After excessive amounts of drinking, the three of us (minus Chris Johns who went to his friends) passed out in Gabby's bed. When I say passed out I really mean continually fought for a good position and blanket coverage the entire night only to get neither and wake up unrested and aching.

The next morning/day was spent with Isaac and I roaming around, doing odd things here and there. We managed to get a bit of studying done as well to make up for the guilty feeling of procrastination. I feel like Isaac and I are getting much closer as friends, something that I like a lot. We hang out a lot, eat together, work out together and I like it. We joke that we are considered a gay couple on campus, and doubtless some people think it.

Anyway, after Gabby got off of work at Jamba Juice, we hung out for awhile, but informed her that we would be leaving. Gabby was noticeably upset, and I knew why and though I warned her, I still sympathized. I understand how she feels, to be next to the one she loves and not being able to have him. But, we said our goodbyes and went on a random adventure to Eastern Illinois University where they were having their unoffical that night. We met up with their friend Elliot who happens to be gay, but the most confusing gay person ever. I met him the night before at U of I where I studied him closely. I just could not make sense of him, and I think he may have avoided me at some level. I can't be sure, but I wonder just how comfortable he is with his sexuality. Anyway, the four of us got to a party and were a bit shocked. At least Isaac and I were. He turned to me and said, "We aren't in Chicago anymore." The party was full of hicks. Some dirty, some whores, some inbred. Granted, we made the best of it and had a really fun time for awhile. I told myself that tonight was a night where I kept my inhibitions and didn't act flaming, for lack of a better word. I ended up dancing for a total of two minutes, but that was enough. Two brothers went to Isaac and began flipping out that there was a gay man at the party. "We don't do that here," were the exact words spoken. Isaac told me, and I was bothered, but not overly so. But then, Isaac continued to socialize with the ones who didn't like me, and Elliot and Chris both disappeared due to girl drama. So I left and wandered around campus for awhile. Honestly, I don't remember any of it, just that I did. I came back to find Elliot very distressed where he proceeded to tell me his boy problems. The one time we had a conversation and he mentioned men. I was more in awe than actually contributing to the conversation. Eventually we all fell asleep with no more mishaps the rest of the night. We awoke at 7AM to screeching sounds of unknown animals. Once we realized where we were, we got up and out. Instantly. Our drive home consisted of Isaac's broken windshield wipers and rain. I will let you conjecture to what happened.

There was a moment going down to EIU when we stopped at a gas station. It was the only thing for miles, and you could only see small dots that were the houses in the far distance. Other than that, there was a black wall of nothingness. It was quiet, and nothing moved other than us. I looked around and realized that I was back home. Strange to think about so late, but I had oddly missed my Illinois., the flat fields of corn and soybeans, the odd assortment of people ranging from Chicago to Decatur and everything in between, and not to mention the horribly paved roads! As I returned to the car, I turned to Isaac and said, "We are in the middle of fucking nowhere!"

I also would like to get to know Elliot more. He is a really funny guy, and his sexuality greatly interests me. Yes, he is gay. I understand that. But it is something different to him than to me, something that I have never actually ever seen before. Don't get me wrong, I am not at all condemning him. Everyone acts differently, and though stereotypes are true sometimes, they don't hold up uniformly, especially with gay men! I have seen so many dirty, unkempt gay men in this world to prove it to me. I myself am hardly organized or clean. But I love to study people, watch their habits, listen to them and understand their point-of-view in this life. Elliot has proved to stump me, something that only entices me more! It sounds like I am treating him as my experiment, and maybe at some level I am?

That was my strange, wonderful weekend. If you made it this far, Kudos to you my friend.

Photo by Frank Hebicht

Valentine's Day Massacre

Oh wait, it isn't Valentine's Day anymore.

This is the part I hate. I have so much to say, and yet I cannot because I am unsure of who does and doesn't follow my blog. And since I do not know Greek well enough to describe my situation, I will say nothing instead. Sorry.

Classes are getting better. It sucks, but I have buckled down and got work done. I have managed to go to most classes voluntarily and done my work like a good little boy. I am slowly being able to hone my attention span since now only my TV and Mac distract me. My Xbox 360 is once again not working. Piece of shit Microsoft!

My visits to the gym have had their ups and downs. I am starting to see slight results in my upper body and leg muscles due to my lifting regiment. I have developed shin-splints though since I run/walk weird. Ramon noticed that I roll when I walk messing up how my muscles work. The reason? Years of band camp. I was always taught to use the "roll-step" while marching, which has led to this wonderful condition. It also causes me to walk to the beat of my iPod, but that is irrelevant. I can't even walk for an extended period of time anymore without feeling pain. I really hope I didn't screw my legs up. My height is all I have!

I now practically live at Ray and Tammy's apartment, watching "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" with Kevin and Tammy or "To Wong Foo," with Ray and other random adventures. maybe I have been there too much lately, but I enjoy their friendship and I love getting out of my dorm. I feel secure now that I have a solid group of friends in the city. Maybe not the best, but hopefully that will develop over time.

Yeah, so that is about it, minus the obvious HUGE things going on in my life. I read this and think, "Wow, who cares about this stupid, random shit?" My blog isn't good unless I have something to bitch about. I enjoy complaining and fighting, in case you haven't noticed. Don't get me wrong, I have been enjoying my life lately. I just don't have a lot to talk about.

I want it to be warm. Then I will be even happier!

Photo by Pierre-Louis Pierson

Myspace Blog?!

So I was fishing around in my old Myspace Blog and found a few interesting posts that I thought I would repost for fun and to show how I have changed over the years!

Friday, February 10, 2006
what is going on?
Current mood: depressed

what am i supposed to write anymore?? cause if i start talking about something that has been going on, word will get around and i will get more of a shit load than i already have. why why must there always be drama? never in my life has something so hurtful been said to me like what they said. and yes let it be known that i cried. ok. so what. i didnt bawl. i used every muscle in me to restrain any outward appearance but when im told that i am a piece of shit who lies and cheats and backstabs and that i am worthless from someone who was held close to my heart, then there was only so much i could do. i loved them more than anything in this world as i do my close friends and they broke me down. i was tempted to get up and leave. leave all of this shit behind. but i didnt. and yet at the same time, im done. im just done. i tried to salvage it and it seems to me that it is out of my control. as mr mascari said, highschool sucks. who would ever want to come back and repeat this? what the hell am i supposed to think anymore? ~mike ps-if u have no idea what the hell im talking about then u must be sheltered. pps- ive said this to a few ppl, but if everyone else in this world hates me, i can at least take comfort in the fact that my grandma thinks im cool!

Tuesday, February 07, 2006
My epiphanies!
Current mood: contemplative

Yes i have had many of the course of this year and i share them with you now!!! be prepared to be rocked beyond your wildest dreams!

Mrs. Hiland was unfortunately born without a personality. this leads to boring classes, failed attempts at jokes, and a very unpleasant first block.
Our student teacher for band...i forgot her name. well anyway i have a theory about her. she was and is a complete band nerd. not like me or the BNU, but rather the horrible kind! the really hyper nerdy ones. well she has since grown up and matured (somewhat). but as she stands in front of our band she is nervous, but why? i believe it is because she looks at all the beautiful band people and it wasnt like her time. we arent nerds. therefore she is threatened and reacts by being mean.
My life lacks any direction whatsoever!
Relationships are overrated. (sory Stina & Tim, Kayla & Ian, Alex & Cory, anyone else that im forgetting) they are overrated for me at least. im all about the flirting and...well....*cough* we will leave that one alone for now!
Did i mention my life lacked a direction?? WHAT AM I GOING TO DO FOR A LIVING?? why must we make this decision now?

Monday, November 14, 2005
I have a booboo!
Current mood: hungry

well, during gym class, mandele made us run over and over cause of his pissy mood! when i got a break, i collapased against the wall, only to find that something had cut me, and really deep to. so i rushed to the nurse, and went to the emergency room for 4 stiches. lol, and it's my middle finger, so now i flip off everyone!! it's really hard to type this... YAY i got to leave school and i so milked it! but i do have to work...meh! i'll just be really slow

Saturday, September 24, 2005
horrible day!
Current mood: drained

i had to work a whole 8 and 1/2 hr day. that just ruined my day from the beginning. but during work, i got ssome chemicals that we use to clean the floor in my eye. i was forced to put a bottle on my eye full of saline crap and wash it out. i hate touching my eye! after that, my BAD headache came back and i felt like my head was bursting like a pimple on a teenagers head (nice) and it got so freakin busy! ugh, i want to just flippin leave this place. maybe i'll go to europe...

Tuesday, September 13, 2005
ugh...
Current mood: depressed

i hate being a teenager. emotional rollercoaster. one moment im fine, and now im just deppressed to the max.


Wednesday, August 31, 2005
HOW'S THIS FOR BITTER?!!?!??!@?.$?!@.$ Q@$%.V
Current mood: crushed

So a few of you who have been reading my blog claim that i am a bitter, whiny nerd. Well, if you think that then you can kiss my wihte ass! No really, i dont want you to do that, kristi already did. i'm not bitter, am i? i was just having a bad day...I CUT U!



Wait, have things really changed that much, or am I still almost the exact same person. My blog STILL is bitter and whiney and yes, I am still a nerd. Shit...

Readjustment Blows

Well, one month down. And what a strange, difficult month this was. My life has become a roller-coaster of emotions and I really want it to stop. Partially I feel this is the effect of reverse-culture shock, and what I have deemed reverse-college shock. I like the dorms because they are in a great location, right next to school plus they feed me with semi-tasteful food, even if it never sits well in my stomach. My roommate is cool, other people in the dorm are alright though very unsanitary. But it has been hard to go out and meet people as well. I get too comfortable being alone. No that isn't true. Rather, I get too depressed and stay in, but then proceed to bitch about how I have no life. Maybe it's best that I don't have a social life since I have so much homework to do for class these days, and barely even get half of it done after spending hours a day reading. I hate this.

I also told myself I would not let boys rule my life, and yet, somehow once again they are beginning to. Why?! Maybe I will go straight and leave all these boys (who are trying to be men, but who are they fooling?) behind! One minute it's good, the next great, and the next it sucks. Apparently, the "Gay Gods," as Zachary says, have forsaken me.

Good things have happened though as well. My birthday, both the dinner and the party, were very successful! It was fun and enjoyable to hang out with old friends as well as meet some new ones! I am also getting better at this magical game called Beer Pong. I used to think I sucked at throwing things, but for some reason, I can do fairly decent at this. Haha! Anyway, it was fun, and I swore off drinking for two weeks. But of course that didn't happen because last night was Garmin's annual winter event. I went with Sophia and had a blast! I also won a Forerunner 405! It's a GPS running watch that costs $300!! I will never use it but I will sell it to the highest bidder!! After the games, the bosses took us over to TGI Fridays where they bought as a considerable amount of alcohol and food. It was a great night that ended in a horrible hangover!

School is getting difficult and frustrating. How can my professor honestly give me a full book to read in a week? They know I have other classes I have reading and assignments for! What makes it worse is that two of my professors give me a book to read each week. TWO?! And then my other three classes have considerable reading for them as well. I don't understand how they think that is fair.

I am proud of one thing. I have been working out so far with Isaac and Ian. They put me on a very tough regiment of lifting and running. I can feel those muscles that I have been dreaming for for so grow on me! One day, hopefully relatively soon, I will be sexy. Well, maybe not but I will be healthy. Though I do fear if I continue to eat as I do and not lift or exercise, my weight will increase. That thought alone is keeping me on the treadmills everyday.

Anyway, as the new month begins, I would like things to change. A lot. And I have to be the one to man-up and do it.

Thank You James Stuekel...

So, I moved back into the dorms. It's not so bad. I haven't met my roommates yet (all 7 of them!) and the dorm is nice and new. This will be a good way for me to meet more people at my school too. My room overlooks the Dan Ryan which is not exciting but I can also see the lake and the city. You win some, you lose some.

I had a strange moment as my dad and I were buying linens and other random things for my dorm room earlier at Target. I remember a little more than a year ago doing the same thing, but this time I was moving into my first apartment. I had such high hopes and dreams of living on my own. I really thought I had done it and was moving up in the world. My parents were also supporting me, much to my surprise because I was moving in with Johnny. They were there to help me and prepare me for life on my own. But somewhere along the line I screwed up. Perhaps it was moving in with my boyfriend of less than a year, or perhaps it was my less than perfect spending habits or my job choices. Anyway, I'm back at square one, which isn't a bad option. But this isn't where I thought I would be at this stage.

I always hate coming out to someone the first time. It's awkward because they feel like they can't ask me if I am gay, and I am not going to introduce myself as a homosexual either. Plus you don't know someone's feelings about it either, and if they aren't comfortable with it, then I'm not comfortable with them. I know these are stupid feelings because in all my life, I have met very few people who are so uncomfortable with me being gay that they can't be with me. It is just a feeling that will be with me for some time I think. I have only been out for two years now. So I hope these new roommates aren't bigots. Or bros. I don't like bros.

But, apart from my negative and pessimistic thoughts, I am so excited to be back in Chicago. Once I get my U-Pass, the town will be mine to explore! And I hope Garmin hires me again!! I need money, and quick!

Photo by John Cleary

Ring In the New Year!

Χρονια Πολλα = Many Years = Happy New Year!

Another year is here. Where the hell did 2008 go? What the hell am I going to do with 2009? Why is it that the closer that I get to graduation the faster time goes? I don't want to graduate and enter the real world! I am perfectly happy with school right now and I have no plans for a career!! Freshman year was so much fun and so long! Sophomore year, my first year in an apartment, was a lot of fun as well, but more stressful with rent, utilities, etc. But it went quicker. And now, my Junior year is flying past me. My time abroad went so quickly that I wasn't able to appreciate and fully experience Greece. And now next semester is going to be very difficult for me. 17 credit hours with my first 400 level History class ever added to the fact that I am going to hopefully work at Garmin again. God help me.

I am sitting writing this still in my clothes from last night still with a hangover and old cologne still hanging on me. Kind of nasty perhaps but last night was the time of my life! Since I still have a hangover, I don't want to dissect the events of last night as of yet. Thats later. Plus, I am still a little confused. Weird things happened. Weird in a good way though. But spending New Year's in Chicago was amazing. I missed home a lot, and the city is so much fun and so beautiful. This is my home!

I hate New Year's resolutions. They set me up to fail. No, I am not going to diet and no, probably won't figure out my finances. Sure, these things would be great but, seriously? It's me we are talking about. I know what I want with my life though, and I will do what it takes to get there.

A) Need to start some sort of career path. Internship, contacts, anything. I need some sort of plan.
B) I will not be dependent on another person for happiness. This doesn't necessarily exclude relationships, but I'm young. I still have a lot to experience and do.
C) I need to work hard at what I do, meaning school, work, friendships, money, etc. I cannot afford to be lazy anymore.
D) I want to be healthy. No, I don't need to lose weight, but I need to watch what I eat, and continue working out more. Running is fun but it would be nice if I started weight training.

These aren't resolutions. This is just where I want to be by the end of next year, if anyone is interested, and if you have read this far I can only assume you are.

Welcome Home

I am back from wonderful Greece now. For a full list of my strange adventures, check out http://michael-greekadventure.blogspot.com.

It is strange being back. Though I have yet to feel any effects of reverse culture-shock, I do find very many things strange and interesting. Such as carpet, commercials, hot water, ice cubes, parking laws, cereal, drying machine, and heat. And the ability to throw my toilet paper into the toilet is genius. Greece needs to get on the ball!

I have however resisted many attempts to fall back into my old life. Johnny and I broke up long before I left for Greece. I know that if you went by my blog alone, you would be very confused because it would seem that I would still be in a relationship with him. This is because I never update my blog, which is now a New Year's resolution of mine! Anyway, we aren't together and I won't be. I fell out of love. It was hard, it was painful but I did it to survive. I am finally able to be myself again without depending on another person. I can have fun, hang out with anyone I want to at anytime and not have any obligations. Johnny is finding this hard to adjust to and currently hates me, but I think its for the best.

As for me, I feel like myself. My trip abroad has taught me a lot, and allowed me to take control of my life. I am happy, very happy and I won't let people bring me down again. Anyway, enough about that. I'm home, bored and can't wait to live my life in Chicago again! Call me?

GONE!

I am in Ελλαδα or Greece! I will be until December 19! Check out http://michael-greekadventure.blogspot.com/! It is my travel blog! Afterwards, I will return to you, I promise!

The End

SO I gave up the whole painting thing. WAY too much for me to handle and totally not my thing. I've learned a lot about myself. My strengths, my weaknesses and everything I need to improve. But in the end, running my own painting business is not a good fit for me. However, I still owe a lot of money and to get myself out of this fully, I can't just cut and run. I will continue to be a sales manager for another franchisee, maybe two, because that is what I am good at.

With my free time I plan to
-Live in Chicago
-Be with Johnny
-Relax
-Tan (Yes, I know. But I am already half way there!)
-Read more books
-Wake up early
-Learn to cook
-Be with friends
-Have a relaxing summer
-Regain my sanity

The relief of it all makes me so happy! And then off to Greece!

(Short post but I am sure you do not want to hear the intimate details of my failed business)
Photo by Susan Bright

Recap My Month

Ok, so I haven't posted in forever. And my life has changed dramatically, again. Let's sum it up in one short run-on sentence.

So, I am back together with Johnny because I really am in love and it hurts not to be with him and it would be stupid for me to deny my feelings for him so we decided to move out of Pilsen cause it is dangerous and we don't like the gang-bangers and thugs and trash so we now live in Wrigleyville which is amazing and we love it cause it is always a party over there though we always see drunk guys playing bags and we don't get the obsession but anyway I also have no life cause of my painting and I should not have joined cause it is not who I am but I am committed and I need money to go to Greece which I cannot wait for cause I am so fucking excited.

Jesus, that was fun.

The Strangers is scary as hell. Go see it! Shameless promotion.

I PROMISE! From now on, I will blog more often!!!!!!!

Oh and I decided to use pictures I find off the internet cause I don't care. The picture above was taken by Wayne Rutledge.

Politico

Just a few videos to highlight the political frenzy over these two!

Why do people love Obama so much? Yeah, he is a good speaker, but how can you trust him with no experience? And why does the media love him SO much???

Hillary was the only first woman to actually have an office. All she had to do was stand there and look pretty, and she pushed for her universal healthcare plan. Though she failed, she tried. And tried hard! She's my hero! Bitch is the new black!

The F Word

Oh, God I haven't posted in forever! But I do have an excuse. Basically put, my life began to fall apart and I am now attempting to pull the pieces together.

So, I broke up with Johnny. I'm not going into much detail. It was a messy break-up, and still is. We still (unfortunately) live together. His mom asked me to not be too harsh and kick him out, though she completely understands why I would do so. She has to look after her son, and I understand. So, I must endure another month.

How did this happen? I really don't want to get into the details. This has been such a hard time for me, that it still hurts. I've made very bad decisions this past month, and wondered constantly who I have become.

Relationships are funny things. Love is an even funnier. People use the word too much. I did at first, when I certainly wasn't. He was my first real relationship, and, as so many do, I thought everything was different between us. That we did really love each other. And of course the truth was that indeed we didn't. We were in love with the idea of being in love. But in time, I did fall for him. And to give that up was the terrible. I don't love Johnny anymore. And I didn't at the time when I broke up with him.

To let him move on with his life is a difficult thing to do. And worse yet, to witness him move on every day killed me. However, I did the same to him. I began to move on in front of him and I killed him. Then I went and fucked things up.

I began to be confused. Seeing Johnny everyday, and beginning to get along with him made me wonder if what I had done was right. So, I fell back to what I knew. Johnny. And at the same time I was with someone else, who I do have real feelings for. I have no idea how or why I did it, but I regret it everyday. And now, I believe I am ending up with no one. Perhaps it is best. But at the same time, I don't want to lose what may have been. Perhaps I should go to church again...

Aside from my fucked up love life, I have been sick as hell. Hit full face with a strange virus that makes my head feel like its is blowing up, my stomach churn, my throat swell and my head to spin. For two days I laid in bed and still I cannot get over it. I think the city's homeless people are getting me sick!

Oh and there was a drive-by outside my apartment. Wonderful.

So, this is my amazing life so far. Sick, scared and alone.

P.S. I will no longer use photos, as (somehow) the original photographer of one of the photos I used saw that I took her picture. I didn't know people actually read this thing...