Welcome Home

I am back from wonderful Greece now. For a full list of my strange adventures, check out http://michael-greekadventure.blogspot.com.

It is strange being back. Though I have yet to feel any effects of reverse culture-shock, I do find very many things strange and interesting. Such as carpet, commercials, hot water, ice cubes, parking laws, cereal, drying machine, and heat. And the ability to throw my toilet paper into the toilet is genius. Greece needs to get on the ball!

I have however resisted many attempts to fall back into my old life. Johnny and I broke up long before I left for Greece. I know that if you went by my blog alone, you would be very confused because it would seem that I would still be in a relationship with him. This is because I never update my blog, which is now a New Year's resolution of mine! Anyway, we aren't together and I won't be. I fell out of love. It was hard, it was painful but I did it to survive. I am finally able to be myself again without depending on another person. I can have fun, hang out with anyone I want to at anytime and not have any obligations. Johnny is finding this hard to adjust to and currently hates me, but I think its for the best.

As for me, I feel like myself. My trip abroad has taught me a lot, and allowed me to take control of my life. I am happy, very happy and I won't let people bring me down again. Anyway, enough about that. I'm home, bored and can't wait to live my life in Chicago again! Call me?

GONE!

I am in Ελλαδα or Greece! I will be until December 19! Check out http://michael-greekadventure.blogspot.com/! It is my travel blog! Afterwards, I will return to you, I promise!

The End

SO I gave up the whole painting thing. WAY too much for me to handle and totally not my thing. I've learned a lot about myself. My strengths, my weaknesses and everything I need to improve. But in the end, running my own painting business is not a good fit for me. However, I still owe a lot of money and to get myself out of this fully, I can't just cut and run. I will continue to be a sales manager for another franchisee, maybe two, because that is what I am good at.

With my free time I plan to
-Live in Chicago
-Be with Johnny
-Relax
-Tan (Yes, I know. But I am already half way there!)
-Read more books
-Wake up early
-Learn to cook
-Be with friends
-Have a relaxing summer
-Regain my sanity

The relief of it all makes me so happy! And then off to Greece!

(Short post but I am sure you do not want to hear the intimate details of my failed business)
Photo by Susan Bright

Recap My Month

Ok, so I haven't posted in forever. And my life has changed dramatically, again. Let's sum it up in one short run-on sentence.

So, I am back together with Johnny because I really am in love and it hurts not to be with him and it would be stupid for me to deny my feelings for him so we decided to move out of Pilsen cause it is dangerous and we don't like the gang-bangers and thugs and trash so we now live in Wrigleyville which is amazing and we love it cause it is always a party over there though we always see drunk guys playing bags and we don't get the obsession but anyway I also have no life cause of my painting and I should not have joined cause it is not who I am but I am committed and I need money to go to Greece which I cannot wait for cause I am so fucking excited.

Jesus, that was fun.

The Strangers is scary as hell. Go see it! Shameless promotion.

I PROMISE! From now on, I will blog more often!!!!!!!

Oh and I decided to use pictures I find off the internet cause I don't care. The picture above was taken by Wayne Rutledge.

Politico

Just a few videos to highlight the political frenzy over these two!

Why do people love Obama so much? Yeah, he is a good speaker, but how can you trust him with no experience? And why does the media love him SO much???

Hillary was the only first woman to actually have an office. All she had to do was stand there and look pretty, and she pushed for her universal healthcare plan. Though she failed, she tried. And tried hard! She's my hero! Bitch is the new black!

The F Word

Oh, God I haven't posted in forever! But I do have an excuse. Basically put, my life began to fall apart and I am now attempting to pull the pieces together.

So, I broke up with Johnny. I'm not going into much detail. It was a messy break-up, and still is. We still (unfortunately) live together. His mom asked me to not be too harsh and kick him out, though she completely understands why I would do so. She has to look after her son, and I understand. So, I must endure another month.

How did this happen? I really don't want to get into the details. This has been such a hard time for me, that it still hurts. I've made very bad decisions this past month, and wondered constantly who I have become.

Relationships are funny things. Love is an even funnier. People use the word too much. I did at first, when I certainly wasn't. He was my first real relationship, and, as so many do, I thought everything was different between us. That we did really love each other. And of course the truth was that indeed we didn't. We were in love with the idea of being in love. But in time, I did fall for him. And to give that up was the terrible. I don't love Johnny anymore. And I didn't at the time when I broke up with him.

To let him move on with his life is a difficult thing to do. And worse yet, to witness him move on every day killed me. However, I did the same to him. I began to move on in front of him and I killed him. Then I went and fucked things up.

I began to be confused. Seeing Johnny everyday, and beginning to get along with him made me wonder if what I had done was right. So, I fell back to what I knew. Johnny. And at the same time I was with someone else, who I do have real feelings for. I have no idea how or why I did it, but I regret it everyday. And now, I believe I am ending up with no one. Perhaps it is best. But at the same time, I don't want to lose what may have been. Perhaps I should go to church again...

Aside from my fucked up love life, I have been sick as hell. Hit full face with a strange virus that makes my head feel like its is blowing up, my stomach churn, my throat swell and my head to spin. For two days I laid in bed and still I cannot get over it. I think the city's homeless people are getting me sick!

Oh and there was a drive-by outside my apartment. Wonderful.

So, this is my amazing life so far. Sick, scared and alone.

P.S. I will no longer use photos, as (somehow) the original photographer of one of the photos I used saw that I took her picture. I didn't know people actually read this thing...

New Year!

First post of the 2008! Whoo!

Ok, so to ring in the new year, I thought I would break up with Johnny. So I did.

Sid Meier, My Love

I would just like to announce to the world (or those who read my pointless "blurbs") that I am now on my first prescribed medicine, ever. Not just your, "Take these for three weeks and you will be fine," medicines, the "You better take this the rest of your life or you shall die," medicine. Well, I won't die, but it may feel like it. I have severe acid reflux disease. Yay for me! I have inherited my mother's disease ridden genes!

Today was my do-nothing day, where, ironically, I defeated the rebels in my version of the American revolution, struggled to maintain my position in Jerusalem as a French invader, and attempted to culturally beat the Roman Empire as the Macedonians. Does owning Civilization IV truly make me a super-dweeb? I hope your jealous Miles. It makes me happy.

Back to a more serious note, I have been dwelling on where my life is heading. I feel trapped, paying rent/bills/etc, and already starting to settle down at 19. I am metaphorically claustrophobic and I will do anything sometimes to get out. I fear I may be getting to that point soon. Thats why I have decided I must study abroad fall semester. It will give me a chance to get away. Don't take this the wrong way meaning I want to get away from Johnny. However, I did not really bank on my life turning out this way, and I wanted to do so much. I'm starting to feel I will never get that chance if I don't act soon. I guess what I am saying is that I wish Johnny was as restless and adventurous as me, and wanted to do many of the things I want to. However, that is not always the case.

I always found it strange how people could work all their life and just be happy. But I guess they like supporting families, being secure/settled, and being rich. Me? I never wanted children, security or money. I want to learn, and have fun, and go places. But with our society, I feel that I am on a set path, with very little options. Go to college, get a job, work it the rest of your life, retire and be senile. God that sounds so boring!! But if I don't do it, then I will be poor and doing a jig on the side of a street so tourists give me their spare change. I hate the times we live in. Thats why I immerse myself in history and games like Civilization, so I can live and experience other times, other [better] societies.

Jealous Much?

Apparently, I am the bear in my relationship...

Life and times of Grizzly Adams

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X-mas Balls

Not so much going on in the my life lately. Just trying to finish up finals here and the semester. Oh wait. That's a big thing.

So apparently my Greek professor cared this year and I am getting a D in the class. WTF?! I *usually* go to class and do some homework. How does that equate to a D? Though, he said I won't get lower than a C. However, if I did good on my final, he would give me that grade. Come on B!

History is done. Not much to say about that...

Psychology is done and I think I slipped out with a B. Not bad considering I didn't learn anything and hated every moment of it. I felt like I was in high school. However, the final was in a cool, very large lecture hall I had never been in before. I discover new places every day. Next, I must find the legendary underground tunnels of UIC...

So yeah, other than that I work at Garmin, a GPS store on Michigan Avenue. It's kinda weird working on the MagMile. It is the hub of all tourists and what people think about when "Chicago" is mentioned. Now I am apart of that. YAY! But no, seriously, there are too many people. Stupid people for that. Tourists is what we call them. Anything from hicks to Europeans to Asians. They come out of the woodwork during the holidays. Actually, I had a guy come in from Batavia yesterday, though he was very hickish/dumb. I wanted to slap him and yell, "Way to not represent me!" I'm lame.

I don't know what I feel this X-mas season. For the first time, I am not at Target or Batavia. It's strange. However, I do have a 7ft tall tree, decked to the halls with seasons greetings. LMAO. I expected Oliver to see it, and run full force into it, knocking it down out of the window and to the street. But he was afraid instead.

Becca, oh Becca. Soon you will move out, leaving Johnny and I to suffer at the hands of financial responsibility. Thanks a lot. T_T <---

Tonight, I go clubbing for the first time in months. Many months. And I will be sure to post all about my gay adventures!

I'm not so "Hood"

Lmao.

So I know, it has been a very long time. I apologize. The thing is, I really should post more often, because then I remember what has happened to me. Now? I only really remember the past few days, like how I now have two jobs or how I saw that dead person yesterday, or the festival of lights where I was wet, cold, but amused and how Oliver is losing teeth and how GPS units are now my life. Halloween is a thing in the past that I remember as a blur and to try and elaborate on it is excruciating now. Thats why I should post more often!

Ha!

The Shortbus of A Social Life

I am INSANE on my bike. I ride it around town, and you cannot ride on the sidewalks. That means I swerve through traffic, blow stop signs and lights, come inches away from moving cars (and buses), and flick people off when I can take my hand off. Just another reason to love Chicago. But when it rains, it sucks. But luckily, I have my UPass. Sorry Zacahry. You will never know the bliss.

So, it happened. We have a dog. Not just one however, two. Thats right. BUT, I am going to get rid of one...

STOP

All that above was written about a month ago. I saved it with all intentions of going back to finish it, but never did. Damn I suck.

ANYWAY, we only have one dog now, Oliver. He is a bitch and a half but is growing on me, slowly. He is cute, and slightly cock-eyed. He knows how to shake my hand now! Now for the important commands... With my reputation for putting things off, I wonder if I ever will teach him those.

Other important news, I am moving apartments? So soon? Well I am only moving up a floor. It's slightly smaller, but has a better layout and is painted. Plus we get a washer and dryer. I will never go a month without doing laundry again! We have a roommate as well. Her name is Becca and shes a 22 year old grad student at UIC. She seems cool and relaxed and hopefully it will be a good situation.

For awhile there, I started getting sick of Chicago. I never go out anymore because no one wants to do anything. Since I live in Pilsen, my friends from school never call me to do anything and those from Batavia hardly do as well. I see Zachary the most. We went up to Andersonville the other day to see a famous cemetery, but instead got lost and we wandered to a very purple restaurant where a creepy black she-male seated us. The prices were ridiculous so we ran before ever ordering. And we really ran. I had the image of she-man running after me with her beads hitting her fake boobs. We ended up at a cool Indian styled restaurant where the food was cheap, tasty and healthy/vegan (maybe?), and was served to us on the floor. However some tarot card reader hogged all the pillows...

ANYWAY back to my point, I feel trapped in the city. I go to school, come back and do nothing. Not even my homework! In the dorm my friends were readily accessible, but here, they are too far away to walk and nobody likes to take public transportation that short of a distance, even though Isaac does have a car. But what really gets me is my dorm friends. Nothing. No invitations to parties, which I hear about later, or just random fun. It really blows. I need to make some more friends in the city. But where do I go? My block is full of pot-head college students or Mexicans who don't speak English. Hopefully my new roommate will help alleviate some of this.

One other thing that bothers me - I still suck at cooking. I need variety in my food, but I cant make it, not to mention Johnny hates most foods. I'm sick of McDonald's and Hamburger Helper!!!

Now to finish up the first season of Heroes! I watched the whole season in three days!! It's so good! And to think I used to hate it. Stupid past Mike. Doesn't know anything!

Death By Fluff

A little devil is on it's way. Full of fluff and cuteness. Johnny's TRUE love, a little puppy who has yet to be named. It will pee, poop, eat and generally be expensive. But then again, who can resist a cute, tiny, fragile fluff-love?

...My mother is going to murder me when she finds out.

The Underdog

Ever get that feeling that SO much has happened in your life that you MUST blog about it but you are SO lazy and don't?

Yeah...

Maybe one day in the future.

Long story short.

1. Moved into an apartment with Johnny in the city o' Chicago!
2. Work at Target...still and hate it
3. My landlord is hot
4. Apartments are expensive
5. Parents still want me to be straight
6. It's very hot and I have no AC
7. Because of #6 I am nude-ish
8. Because of #7...nevermind
9. Being on my own is amazing!
10. Being on my own is scary!
11. Being on my own is hard!
12. Can't wait for school to start
13. Dreading school
14. I need to get paid
15. Comcast is evil
16. Comcast now rules my life
17. This list is confusing
18. I live in Mexicoville
19. #18 isn't as bad as it seems
20. I'm so done
21. I probably won't post again for another month...

You Know I'm No Good

I just finished a three-day work-a-thon over at Target. 10pm - 6am. Gross. I slept FOREVER today. I needed to recover from the disgusting feat I pulled.

I've managed to do a lot this summer. Hung out with lots of different people and gone a few places. But something feels wrong. Have I changed that much? What makes me unable to have a fun time and relax? Perhaps it’s the looming presence of life. Poetic? No but seriously. I need an apartment and guess what? Bobby and Cassie pulled out. Wonderful. Amazing. Great. I'm fucked.

Sometimes I feel like I have to be an adult cause others don't want to be. I have to worry about things I am not supposed to at my age, i.e. an apartment and life. I feel stuck, dragged down and unable to get back up.

Sometimes I don't know where my life is headed. As I lay on the floor drunk as a bee (?) I wonder if this is the life I want. Is my life stuck at Target? Am I unable to make friends anymore, or do I only want to be with Johnny? God!! Something feels so wrong in my life and I don't know what it is!!

The whole "gay" thing makes things worse. I don't feel like I'm gay but all I ever see/hear is how I have to fit in with "them" because somehow we are separated. But at the same time I have little in common with straight men who love boobs, sports, car and beer. Boobs are only good to play with and watch bounce. After all they are only globs of fat.

This summer is different from last. I never seem to sit down and relax. I am always up, doing something with someone someplace at sometime doing god-knows-what. And I fine myself bitching all the time. Why is that? Am I just a bitch now? Perhaps...

We always want things to go back to the way they were, and when life changes, people find it hard to fit in anymore. Where do I belong now?

What an emo/disturbing post...

Slave Labor

I really really really really really really really really don't want to start work again. I wish money could come to me with no work at all. I wish money wouldn't exist at all and everything would be free since I am now officialy broke. $0 and tomorrow I most likely put the chains of Target back on.

I liked Chicago because I didn't have to pay for gas!

The past few days have been pretty fun though. A last party before my death. Though I didn't go to prom, I did go to post-prom and won Dance Dance Revolution for the XBox 360. I don't have an XBox 360. I thought it was an XBox 360 so I put all my tickets on it. However I did sell it for $80 and with a $25 gift card bought a digital camera [with help from my parents.] I finnaly have my own camera! It's pretty nice too! 7.2 megapixels and pretty slim/sleek. Time to photoshoots??

Anyway after post-prom a bunch of us went camping at Lake Shabbona for their senioe skip day. We roasted food, smores and played cherry bomb in the dark for almost two hours! The next day we went to Dawson's lake house. It looked small on the outside, but it was a mansion inside. I came only because I was enticed with driving a waverunner, which I have done before. However he was a prick and didn't trust me! I didn't even get to ride it!! It was still a fun time and no, I didn't get a tan.

Today Johnny, Paul and I hung out. It was pretty fun. We did the usual stay in Paul's house playing video games for hours. He had City of Hereos which I am now wanting!!

Anyway, now I must go enjoy what little freedom I will have left.

Back To the Life

I keep getting worse and worse at blogging... BUT I do have an excuse! It's called college.

I had two term papers (one in history and English) , one major project (anthropology), a strange/hard philosophy class and the ever challenging Greek class to deal with this last semester. My first semester was so easy compared to what I just went through!! Most likely it probably wasn't as difficult as I am making it out to be, but I'm lazy. 'Nuff said!

Anyway, school is over now, and I am sitting in my lonely, dark dorm room with all of my useless crap packed tightly into four plus suitcases. My dad is bringing more tomorrow. My roommate, Γιαννις and almost everyone of my friends has left. I don't have any food because my refrigerator is gone. Actually, I never had any food before my refrigerator was gone. Everything is so sad and depressing!! But I go home tomorrow for my last summer in Batavia. By August, hopefully I will have an apartment in Chicago.

I feel like my life is moving in fast-forward, like I am being forced to grow up way too soon. Don't get me wrong, I want an apartment! But I also want to still feel like a college student, which sometimes is only achievable in the dorms. They are gross and people invade your privacy, but the friendships and bonds that one creates are worth it. I really don't know what to think anymore.

God, I really don't have anything else to say. After so long, I have nothing to say. You would think I would write a huge entry about anything and everything. A lot has happened, but I don't want to bore anyone. Who cares that I got caught up in a bank robbery downtown with a gun pointed to my head as I kicked the man in the balls saving the day and becoming a hero.

Not even my pathetic attempt at a extravagant lie could make this post any more interesting...

Pessimistic - Back to the suburban waste land that is Batavia!
Optimistic - Back to the place I call home!
Pessimistic - Back to slaving at Target!
Optimistic - Back to my closest friends!!

The Denial Twist

Things that have happened over spring break!

1) Got kicked out of the house
2) Been relying on friends all week to take care of me
3) Party
4) Haven't shaved for 5 or 6 days
5) Haven't showered in a few days --> these are things that haven't happened I guess...

This week has been absolutely crazy in both a good and bad way.

The first night of spring break, Ian, Johnny, Chithra and I went out for a night on the town. We went out to eat in Wicker Park at a crazy vegan restaurant, did Hookah, went on the BumTrain (an El car filled with homeless bums who smelled like poop and farts) and had a great time! The perfect start to a spring break which was completely ruined.

So I broke the rules my parents set up. I know, I fucked up. But to kick me out is an overreaction. This incident is bringing to light my family's insecurities and problems with who I am. If your trying to teach me a lesson, nothing will be learned. I am gay and if you try to change a.k.a. brainwash me, you will only mess me up mentally. I did not choose this lifestyle and would not wish it on anyone, but I can only embrace it. I will not deny myself.

And so I became a drifter. I stayed with Cassie for two days. She is a very cool girl and I am so thankful she wanted to help. We then went to Chicago (which I drove Cassie's car downtown) and had a night of shopping and eating. We crashed in my dorm and the next day, I moved to Ian. Isaac was supposed to join us, but he bailed. After Ian, I went to NCC with Ian and Johnny to stay with Zachary. It was a school day and I feel bad for putting myself on him, but I had very little choice and I wanted to see him. NCC had a gambling night and I found out that I would not survive in Las Vegas unless I cheated. After NCC we went to NIU to stay with Merika. I really missed her and we had a very fun time. Paul joined us and we had ourselves a fun get-together. When I woke up, Hector was there and I was more than confused. However Ian rushed us out the door and now I am sitting in the Batavia library alone and with no place to go.

I really had an amazing and different week, but I feel bad for the drifter status my friends had to deal with. Thank you all so much for supporting me through this difficult time in my life. I love you all and value your friendships above anything else right now.

To my parents: I don't want to talk to you right now. Your denial and rejection of me has hurt too much to say. I know I am not the best son in the world, but I only ever wanted your love and acceptance. You are incapable of the latter right now. I will call soon, but for now I need space.

And now I need to know what I am going to do...

Technosexual

I apologize for the title. It was on UrbanDictionary.com and I laughed...

Anyway things have been picking up lately. Last night however was horrible. I swear I had a fever and I have been coughing a lot lately. My sickness forced me to miss a midterm, though I emailed him and hopefully he will understand. But I got better around 3 or 4 and with the very nice temperature, I had to go out. I have been a trapped animal for the past winter in my dorm.

I wore shorts and flip-flops. It was amazing! I also went on a short shopping spree. It makes me feel better! Perhaps I should call my parents to make sure I have enough money.

Anyway, I had a nice experience downtown today with my boo and friends. Even though I was coughing and spitting up flem a lot, it still felt good to get out. And no bums, no theifs!

Jamba, A & F, Hollister, and Urban Outfitters later, I was one happy boy. I don't feel like going into any more detail so I'm just going to stop here.

I Still Love You, I Promise!

Don't be mad blogger. You still hold the key to my heart. Just because I have neglected your for over a month means absolutely nothing! I was just to busy to care! And no, I will not go into a detailed description of the past month.

Ok, so huge changes have occurred in my life. Very big. Largest of Large. Enormously Enormous. But guess what? Due to some readers of my blog, I am unable to write it down in English. So I will attempt to do what Zachary does, and translate it into another language that I know, Greek! Ok, so here it goes.

Γιαννίς μένω μαζί με.

That was most likely the worst Greek ever, and I am in Greek 102. Anyway, after weeks of deliberation and playing with the idea, it happened. It has been hard, but for the most part it is working out very well and I couldn't be happier.

What else happened? Oh, nothing much. I just got pick-pocketed! Zachary and Co. from NCC came to Chicago on Thursday to go to a gay club up on the North side. We met Zachary at Union and Johnny, Ian and the two of us went out to eat beforehand. Ian would not go [understandably] and we parted ways. On the way to the club, we were getting on a Red Line train underground when it happened. I bumped into a guy and said I was sorry. He then went in front of me, with his back turned to me, and continued to step on my feet in a hard and sarcastic manner. I thought he was angry cause I bumped into him. I was wrong. After going around him, he ran away, the doors closed and I sat down. A random bystander told me to check my wallet, and I knew at that moment what happened. I freaked. I wanted to go home so badly, but I was forcibly persuaded to go to the club still. And I did, though Zachary's friends had no idea where they were going. If I hadn't been so utterly distracted and upset, I would have helped.

Everything was gone. My ID, my college ID Johnny's ID, my UPass [gets me onto the CTA], Justin's UPass, Johnny's $20, my two debit cards, random shit, my social security number, and all my senior pictures. The other day I attempted to go into the city and get a new UPass and ID. However, CTA doesn't take checks, the only form of payment I had left, and no bank [even my own] would cash a personal check. And the DMV wouldn't let me get a new ID without some form of ID. Ironic and annoying. After a two hour trip into the city and getting shut down everywhere, I sat down and almost cried. My experiences are making me hate Chicago, and I don't want to hate Chicago. But how can't I with bums everywhere, thiefs, annoying/slow/unreliable CTA, nastiness and other unpleasantness? Hopefully this is just a phase...

Anyway, I don't have too much else to say. I want winter to end because I am tired and pissed off by being cold. I like the sun and warm!

See blogger, I don't hate you!